Author: Christina Brady-Smith

Happy New Year! It’s that time of year to make. sh*t. happen. Are you feeling the buzz? You get what you focus on, and right now is the PERFECT time for you to start again and create the best year of your life.

You get to be who you are without apology.

You get to call in the love you desire without settling.

You get to make new choices aligned with your TRUE SELF.

This is your time, Chrissy.

You, and only you are responsible for claiming your dreams. As soon as you make the decision to love yourself, and treat yourself incredibly well along the way, you, and the world around you, will change for good.

Now… I have a question for you and I want you to be honest:

What do you desire this year?

What comes up for you when I ask that question?

Do you know what you desire?

Once you’re so specifically clear on what you desire, and you go after it with everything you’ve got, the universe will show up to support you. This is where you become a magnet. This is where you become a vessel for truth, compassion, forgiveness, and beauty to move through you. Every mistake you make along the way will become a lesson. Before you know it, you’ll be harmonizing with the Universe, creating the most beautiful symphony of life.

Saying YES to what you desire is where dreams come true.

You just have to speak your desires into existence. Even if it’s scary.

I’ll never forget the moment last New Year’s Eve when I claimed and spoke my desire into existence with my community.

The clock struck midnight, and something pretty epic shifted in my heart and in my brain. I was done with the worrying. The waiting. The complaining.

I was ready to make this year about my relationship with Steve. I told all my friends that this was our year. So we put our hearts and souls into couple’s therapy, I began focusing on the good and started letting go of old habits and patterns that sabotaged our love– for good. I got honest. I got serious.

I committed.

But I knew I needed more practices in place to make this commitment stick. In order to make my relationship with Steve thrive, I needed to put some non-negotiable pieces of SELF CARE in place.

Here’s the thing. I had one other, really big commitment last year… Becoming a highly skilled and certified workshop facilitator at COR. I knew that in order to give my all to my work AND also give my best to Steve, I needed to come home from my workshops and rest, repair, and restore. You see, these workshops require tons of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. Without the proper self-care routine upon return, I would implode and take it out on Steve. So I made sure to take Mondays and sometimes even Tuesdays off after these workshops in order to sleep, receive massages, and reset my nervous system with chiropractic work.

My health needed to be a priority, so I also committed to having a consistent yoga practice the whole year of 2017. My body really suffered in 2016, and when my body suffered, my relationship suffered too. That’s why on January 2nd 2017, I signed up for multiple yoga packages at multiple different studios. I discovered what my body liked the most, and I found a home for myself at the sweetest studio in San Francisco. I found a family there. How does this relate to Steve? When I’m connected to my breath, more flexible in my body, I become more patient, receptive, and generous with my love. Sure this yoga practice helped my whole entire being, but it really helped me be a more loving partner.

But truly, the most important thing I did for my self care last year was attending an 8 day silent meditation retreat. This helped me lay out my foundation for the most loving year of my life. I was so, so, so scared to go. The idea of silence with no form of distraction terrified me. But this experience helped me get present, silent, and calm. And presence, I’ve discovered, is ALL we need to get through any hard thing. Presence for me is simply arriving at what’s so, and then handing it all over to Spirit.

This retreat helped me face demons inside of myself I had been denying for decades. I got to witness and welcome those parts of me in such subtle yet powerful ways that they began to purify and dissolve. Some would call this Divine Therapy. I now have a deep rooted trust in Spirit. I now know how to surrender to my waves of humanity with Grace.

When I got home from this retreat last January, Steve could feel the shift in my energy. There was a softness in my face and a patience in my voice that had him stop in his tracks. He knew this was going to be our year, too.

This meditation practice made such a difference for me, that I’m doing the same retreat again in a couple of weeks. It’s the reset I hope I can always turn to at the beginning of the year.

Looking at our relationship today, I realize that I fulfilled my intention of 2017. Now in 2018, Steve and I get to ENJOY what we’ve healed and created.

Putting my all into this relationship became a spiritual practice.

Are we perfect? No way.

Do we still bicker and argue sometimes? Yes.

The difference this time around is our turnaround time.

How long it takes us to apologize, take responsibility, give up our righteousness, forgive, and offer compassion instead of judgment is what helps us get back on track and into love.

Today Steve and I hear each other. Respect each other. Support each other. And really deeply love each other.

We have a new commitment today, and it’s to clean up our diet. Something I’ve never, ever, done before. We’re currently on day 8 of no gluten, dairy, sugar, beans, alcohol, or take out. I’ve struggled with emotional eating a lot of my life, so this is a very big deal. But Steve and I are in this together, and it feels incredibly worth it. This program we’re doing is called Whole30, and if you want to follow my journey find me on Instagram.

I know with the right commitment, I can transform my health.

Our relationship is proof.

Thanks for reading my story, Chrissy. I really appreciate you taking the time to be here with me.

Just get clear on what you desire, gorgeous. Set up the foundational pieces to make it happen. Then commit and let the Universe amaze you.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Let me know what you desire this year and I’ll root you on by commenting below!

ALSO, we have 3 COR Woman Retreats coming up over the next few months all over the U.S. I would love to support you there. This is the biggest reset you could ever give yourself as a woman. This transformation will last a lifetime. You deserve it. Check it out here.

Merry Christmas eve! I have a story to tell you that might help you get in to the Christmas spirit.

After couple’s therapy Wednesday night, Steve and I decided to have a real date night to celebrate our past year and everything we moved through and stepped into as a couple. But the best part? After magically finding parking near the restaurant in SF, we noticed a woman double parked in front of us asking for help- she needed to bring about 40 poinsettias to her mother’s convalescent home. She wanted to gift every resident and nurse a piece of holiday cheer.

We helped her move every single one of these gorgeous plants from her car to the home, and got to see the difference this gesture made in the lives of our elders… many without family this time of year. Many close to the end.

Hey gorgeous,

Today’s message is about suffering.

Yeah, yeah… That’s a crappy word, right? But what is suffering, really?

Suffering is how you choose to relate to your pain, struggle, or life circumstance. You can let your pain serve you or disempower you. You might find yourself in a repetitive pattern that takes you out of presence. Maybe you find yourself feeling downright unhappy. Maybe you’re stuck in a job that you hate. Maybe you’re struggling with a relationship dynamic that hurts. Maybe your body is in pain and you find yourself unable to move or exercise the way you used to.

This saying sums up what I’ll be talking about today: “Pain in inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

Life is painful sometimes. I know it. But how you show up in the pain is what matters.

Let me explain…

My fall workshop season was packed. I led many weekend workshops back to back where I traveled across the country, and I even got to participate in a workshop and receive from others. It was a very expansive Fall where I grew, learned, and transformed at rapid rates. The dust finally settled this week, and I found myself feeling depleted, vulnerable, and sad.

It wasn’t until I realized that I was experiencing a contraction post such an expansive few months that I brought myself back to presence and caught my breath.

I was struggling because I was resisting the contraction. I couldn’t accept that I was still recovering from a busy and expansive workshop season. I so wished that I could be “normal” and recover quickly, but that wasn’t the case. I wasn’t being compassionate with myself- instead I was being so hard on myself and making myself wrong for being different, weird, and sensitive.

Here’s the internal tool that I used to bring me back to presence and compassion, and totally eased my suffering…

I ask myself these questions: “What am I resisting?” and “What am I not accepting?”

When I saw so clearly what I was resisting (the contraction) I could relax into it. When I accepted the space that I was in, I made peace with my experience and even found some beauty in it. My mind didn’t have to go as crazy. I had more space for my experience. I could relax, and no longer felt the need to make myself wrong for my internal state.

Here’s another example of how this tool helped me this past week…

We were in driving in some crazy SF traffic Tuesday night, so I decided to use this trick on myself.

What was I resisting? Traffic.

What was I not accepting? That I might be late to a friend’s house for dinner.

Once I accepted the traffic and no longer pushed against the possibility of being late and accepted it, I relaxed and had fun in the car with my friends. This internal dialogue helped ease my suffering in many different situations this week, and maybe it will help you too .

When you find yourself in a tough moment, perhaps you can ask yourself these questions, too, and reply back and let me know how these questions served you.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S.Thank you for reading this email. I value your time SO much, and appreciate you taking the time to read this. Also- if you didn’t already know, fires have been raging in Southern California. It’s been devastating and scary for my So Cal friends and family. This article shows the many different ways you can help.

If you live in the U.S., I hope you had a restorative Thanksgiving weekend. If you missed my video last week on how to create a powerful intention for the holidays, check it out here. I’m happy to say that I had the BEST Thanksgiving weekend with my family. The best one yet. And that’s because of the intention I created.

The holidays are usually incredibly overwhelming and emotional for me, so this was a huge breakthrough. 

I wanted to experience love, connection, and joy with my family and friends and I did just that and more. Every choice I made throughout our time together helped us all experience deep love, connection and joy. I left feeling so filled up with gratitude for my life.

Here are a few of the highlights of my trip home with my family.

Our family dog (who is sick with lymphoma) snuggled with me every night as a way to savor our remaining months together.

My cousin and her fiancé asked me to officiate their wedding in the Fall. (OMG!).

I played basketball with my dad and boyfriend and remembered how competitive and athletic I am. (I won.)

I ate Thanksgiving at the “Kids Table” and soaked up the innocent joy of my 11 little cousins.

But wait…

While this was the best Thanksgiving ever, I need to confess one small little thing that snuck up and blindsided me.

I FORGOT TO POWERFULLY COMPLETE THE WEEKEND!

I was so happy with my result of a successful Thanksgiving with my family, that I forgot to focus on my return home. I forgot to resource and wrap a beautiful bow around the experience when I returned to my house in San Francisco.

Instead of powerfully completing the weekend, I crashed and burned. Whoops 🙂

This is something I used to do after leading big workshops, and other epic experiences like Burning Man and other festivals.

When we expand, we contract. This is our nature. I’m usually aware of the rebound effect, but NOT THIS weekend! I completely forgot.

My crash looked like crying and missing my dogs. It looked like “relaxing in the hot tub” to unwind with Steve, when instead I used that time to bicker with him over the same old argument we always get into. (Not fun!)

I realized as I crawled into bed that evening that I had forgotten to include my return home and back to reality in my intention. I visualized all the love, joy and connection with my family, but what about the love, joy and connection with my boyfriend upon my return home?

NOW I KNOW! For all future intentions that I set, I MUST see the intention all the way through to the day after the experience ends. Every moment counts.

Here’s what I could have done to complete the weekend…

I could have journaled about my gratitude for the weekend to bring it to a powerful close. I could have written about my favorite frames and memories from the weekend.

I could have watched a happy Christmas movie and relax and snuggle with Steve without any words. (I was tired. Being tired is a great ingredient for fights! Better to steer clear of a triggering conversation and relax without words.)

I could have noticed my internal state and named my feelings, instead of suppressing them and reacting to them in sideways ways that looked like bickering and arguing with Steve.

I could have texted a family member to share how much I loved them.

I could have asked myself, “Are you choosing love, connection, and joy right now?” The answer was NO. A big fat no. I had forgotten about my intention.

So… Please, dear ones.

Don’t crash and burn like me. When you create your intention, play the WHOLE tape through. I made the mistake of only focusing my attention through Sunday morning. I forgot to focus my energy and love into Monday morning as well.

Human beings rarely powerfully complete things.

We start books and don’t finish them.

We create ideas and don’t execute them.

We quit jobs without honoring and grieving them.

When you create an intention, stick to it.

When I realized I fell off course of my intention, I GOT BACK ON. I chose again. It took me one breath, one hug, one apology, and one act of self forgiveness to return to love, joy, and connection.

That’s why I’m still telling my friends that I had the best Thanksgiving weekend ever.

I’m grateful for my humanity. I’m grateful for this lesson.

Thanks for reading my story.

So much love,

Chrissy

P.S. Tell me about your weekend! I’d love to hear about your own intention and anything you learned along the way. Reply back to let me know. I’d love to connect.

If you’re new to my work, HELLO! I’m so happy you’re here. Let me introduce myself…

I’m Chrissy Brady-Smith, feminine emancipator and women’s empowerment coach. I do the work of the heart.

I believe a woman’s vulnerability is her greatest gift.

Some call me a heart worker because I help women find, face, feel, and free all the fearful layers that cover the heart which deflect intimacy and vulnerability. When these strategies and defenses soften and heal, women make better choices which impact their relationships, family, businesses, and world for the better. When a woman’s love is liberated, the planet heals.

Last week, I took this mission up a few hundred vulnerable notches.

Following my blog post last Friday, I got the pull from Grace to dive deeper into my teenager’s story. I decided to tell the whole truth about her sexual wounding from high school, a truth you can find on my Facebook Biz. This link will take you to the newsletter, plus new vulnerable stories.

Let’s begin with the MINUTE before posting my story. I get this text from an unknown number:

“Just feel called to reach out and say thank you. Thank you for all you do. You are a fucking rockstar, badass, warrior, goddess woman. Thank you.”

“Um. WHAT?” I say to myself, “Who are you and how did you know I REALLY need to hear that?”

I took that text as a sign to finally hit “post,” and THANK GOD I did.  I shared a picture of my 17 year old self and two very raw and naked stories from my teen years that had been hiding in the darkness of my psyche for 15 years. What followed was a tidal wave of support from fans, friends, family, moms of ex boyfriends, and complete strangers.

Turns out every inner teenager has a story, and my story telling gave permission for others to honor their past as well.

But want to know a secret? I freaked out before, during, and after posting those stories. Like… FREAKED. I have never felt more resistance in my life! Every excuse showed up in my mind to try and steer me off course.

I knew that without the proper support, I could very easily take the post down with the simple click of “delete,” (something I’ve done in the past).

So, what did I do?

I wrote a mass text to 15 of my greatest champions and biggest supporters with a clear request.

Here’s the first text: 

Here’s the next text to a group of new friends the following day (when I was thinking about taking the post down).

“I’m reaching out with a vulnerable request. Yesterday I posted the most risky and vulnerable post on my Facebook Biz page naming the sexual traumas I experienced in high school, and the ways in which I’m taking back my healthy sense of aliveness in my body now. I’ve been in a huge healing process this month around my sexuality and it’s time now to share it about publicly. Would you be willing to read it and show your support with either a comment or even just a “heart” when you have a chance? Thank you. I’m eternally grateful. Please know, if there’s any way I can support you with these vulnerable leaps, let me know, and I’ll be there.”

That’s asking for what you want. I let these friends into my world and gave them the gift to support me.

In the past I would have seen these requests as a signs of weakness or burden.

My younger self thought she had to battle with life on her own, but the Goddess knows how to dance with life and attract what she desires with action. This clear request set everyone up for success: Myself, my community, and the fans on my Facebook page. They got to experience what support looks, feels, and sounds like thanks to these glorious champions of mine- even on a story that brings up so much shame and embarrassment.

Not to mention, my boyfriend Steve’s comment was the biggest “mic drop” I’ve ever seen. You’ve gotta see it.

The healing balm for shame and embarrassment is LIGHT. Shine light on it, baby. Shine light on it now. Give those shadows a voice and bring them out of the darkness so they can be purified and healed by light. Take baby steps. Share with one person who makes you feel safe. Let yourself be seen and heard.

This was such a reparative experience for my teen self.

Thanks to this post and request, my whole purpose as a women’s empowerment coach has begun to shift, and I have no doubt my voice will be going back to high school campuses to transform the realm of sex education. There’s too much wounding in this area that we can’t afford to ignore any longer.

So thank you, dear for reading my story, yet again.

If you couldn’t already tell, vulnerability is the cornerstone of my business, and this is JUST the beginning.

If you need support in vulnerably asking for what YOU want without any shame or excuse getting in the way, let me know in the comments. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. I’m still offering 3 Hour intensives (done by Skype) to anyone desiring deeper healing for their teenage selves. This offer will be available until my BIRTHDAY next week May 18th. Our time together will free you up in your voice, body, heart, and mind. Write me an email at chrissy@new.chrissybradysmith.com to set up your introductory call with me to see if this coaching is right for you, with the subject line: Teen Intensive. I’m SO excited to get to know you.

It’s workshop season here in Chrissy land! Just over a week ago I helped facilitate the Noble Man workshop, where we held the space for men to heal their relationships with women. And tonight, I’m headed on a Red-Eye flight to Florida because I’ll be facilitating another COR Woman workshop on the East Coast. I’m so excited for the sisterhood and healing that will emerge in this new state!

These weekends are so powerful, and I want to tell you why. We bring ceremonial initiations back to the West.

But wtf does that mean? Let me explain.

Our Western culture is sadly missing the Rite of Passage ceremony process. When girls and boys go through puberty here in the West, there’s little to no acknowledgment of this rite of passage into adulthood.

Without the safe space to ponder and reflect during this time, we either grow up way too fast and miss out on our innocence, or we remain children forever.

Without a clear ritual marking the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood, men and women have a difficult time maturing into their potential.

That’s one of the reasons we bring “Initiation” into our COR workshops; we help women and men grow up.

Initiations are really important; they mark the end of something, and the beginning of something new. So much intention goes into creating our Initiation day at COR so our participants can let go of a particular pain, fear, or struggle, and step into their new expression of being. We bring elements of ritual, witnessing, eldership, prayer, music, and Grace into the circle so men and women can have an embodied transformation where they shed the old, and step into the new.

It’s a day to remember who you are, and forget who you’re not. This “rebirth” can go so deep that it lasts a lifetime. I wouldn’t be the leader that I am today had it not been for my own initiation 6 years ago.

Over the years of working with women and men post Initiation day, we’ve discovered some “best practices” for keeping the transformation alive out in the world. If you haven’t done one of our workshops, don’t worry, these tips apply to you too. You can use these tips to remember who you really are. Each tip I have for you involves activating something very important, your True Self.

Here’s how you can keep your True self alive after any big transformational experience.

1. Daily meditation or prayer practice. The ultimate container at our COR workshops is the holding we receive from Grace. That’s why we encourage our participants to commit to a daily meditation practice for the rest of their lives as a way to keep the portal to the Divine open. Without this daily commitment to interior silence and trusting the present moment, our survival strategies will come back and try and hijack us from our essential goodness and truth. Life is noisy, and meditation is an effective way of getting quiet enough to hear your True Self again.

2. Contribution. Your initiation isn’t complete until you share what you’ve learned and received with the world. Contribution is a one of the greatest ways to activate the healthy self. It gets us out of our own story, and into the what really matters. How can you share your gifts with the world? Who could you help? Where could you volunteer? Staffing one of our workshops and witnessing new brothers and sisters in their own initiations is a beautiful way to give back. We hear staffing is just as powerful, if not more powerful, than your own initiation.

3. Daily Movement. We spend a great deal of time connecting with our bodies at our workshops. During our Initiations in particular, we let our bodies do the talking. The healing lasts because we go straight into the nervous system for a lasting shift. When we disconnect from the body and live in our heads, we suffer. If you’ve been struggling lately, my invitation for you is to take care of your body and give it what it needs. Does your body need yoga, or something more physical like boxing? Your body might need a dance break, or a even a massage.

4. Community. It’s easy to forget who we are when we isolate, so connecting with your community is essential. Who are your biggest supporters and champions? Who was your buddy at your last COR workshop? Sometimes we need to pick up the 500 lb. phone and ask for support. Your vulnerability is the muscle to strengthen here. I’ve also discovered that inviting friends to participate in our COR workshops is a great way to keep our transformation alive. When we share this space with our community and loved ones, we can return to the real world on the same page. The bonding that happens at these workshops between friends and family is unreal.

5. One-on-One Support. Finding a therapist, coach, our counselor who sees the “real” you and holds a safe container for you heal is another important step in keeping your transformation alive. I have SO much support for every level of my being. From reiki masters, chiropractors, therapists, coaches, and healers- every layer of my human condition is supported week after week.

Growing up isn’t easy, but it sure is fulfilling with the right support.

If any of these tips struck a chord with you, you can schedule a FREE Discovery Session with me. Ready to finally experience your own initiation at one of our COR workshops? Ready to work one on one with me?

May your initiation last a lifetime,

Chrissy

P.S. Thank you for your outpouring of love regarding my Core Wound video that I shared with you a couple of weeks ago. Your support means the world to me, and I’m thrilled to hear that you are beginning to heal your own core wound thanks to my story. Ready to dig deep into your own Core Wound and transform it? Schedule your Discovery Call here and I’ll help you take the next step in your journey.

Hey gorgeous,

Do you remember the first time you ever got hurt? Or maybe the most influential pain from your childhood, like a death in your family. Or a spanking. Or getting in trouble at school. Or your parents’ divorce.

These wounds leave a mark on our being and overall understanding of the world. Those moments make us feel separate, alone, or different. In those moments of pain, something formed in your psyche called your “core wound.” It’s a belief or message that you internalized at a young age, which influences who you are and how you behave in the world.

Without the proper awareness, this core wound could dictate the rest of your life.

While I’ve been “working” on myself for over a decade in the world of transformation, therapy, and personal growth, I discovered my core wound for the first time THREE WEEKS ago, and I want to share it with you in video form.

This video will tell you the story of how I realized my core wound, how I’m healing it, and why developing this kind of self awareness is essential for happiness and fulfillment.

Click the image below to watch. Beware, it’s 10 minutes long, so pull up a cup of tea and enjoy getting into my vulnerable and messy world.

I have to ask…

What did you think?

Do you know your core wound?

Let me know in the comments on my Facebook page!

Thank you so much for watching.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. My private coaching and retreats help women bring more awareness and presence to their core wounds. While I don’t think our core wounds ever go away completely, when we bring enough love and awareness to them, they stop ruling our lives and we begin to make better choices and find more fulfillment and happiness. Want to see if my coaching and retreats are right for you? Email me at chrissy@new.chrissybradysmith.com with the subject of COACHING? and we’ll set up a call to see if I’m the right coach for you.