How to be an Amazing Wing Woman

Hey gorgeous,

How do you respond when your friend gets hit on more than you? Whether you’re in a relationship or single, this can be a triggering subject for many women.

That’s why this newsletter describes what it takes to be an AMAZING Wing Woman (who gets more attractive by the minute).

I was at a conference last week with 200 women entrepreneurs, and my mastermind partner is one of the sexiest, most beautiful and magnetic women on the planet. You’ve probably heard me talk about her before, her name is Lauren.

Everywhere we go, she gets hit on. Like… a lot. Men flock to her. They are literally begging to make her happy. Now, I’m an attractive woman and a whole lot of fun (if I do say so myself) and I’ve received my fair share of attention from men over the years. But when I’m with Lauren it’s over. I don’t stand a chance. Granted, I’m in a relationship and not looking to be dating right now, but I still love to flirt ;).
This past week whenever we went out to a meal, the beach, or even coffee, men would seek Lauren out and put their full attention on her and not pay any attention to me.

(Notice how I’m not writing the word “Ouch.”)

As a friend of many, many magnetic women, and someone who’s been around the block in the world of dating, I’ve discovered there to be four reactions to this scenario. Meaning, the response to a friend getting blatantly hit on in front of you.

1. There’s the awkward friend. She goes silent, gets on her phone, doesn’t interact in any way and watches the flirtation from her corner, feeling frozen and stuck. She feels insecure and shrinks, making up a story about how unlovable/unattractive she is this, and this interaction proves it.

2. The aggressive friend. She puts the guy down for hitting on her friend, and might even say, “Dude, you need to go away, we’re not interested.” This is what I call “going in for the kill.” She makes fun of his efforts, and emasculates him. She also makes her friend wrong for receiving all of the attention, and tanks the whole interaction with her aggressive energy. This scenario isn’t fun.

3. The Wing Woman gone wrong. This is the friend who claims to be a wing woman, but isn’t at all, and tries to steal the man’s attention in order to “one up” her friend. This one feels pretty yucky, and no one stands a chance to have fun.

These three scenarios don’t feel good for anyone! They bring the energy down.

Want to know how I do it?

4. I elevate. This is the kind of friend I am. I elevate the scenario, the flirtation, and the energy. I’ve been in a serious relationship for years, but when my friends get hit on, I get in there too, with encouragement, some silliness, and celebration of what’s going on in the moment.

This past week I was a total YES to these men hitting on Lauren. I approved of their desires with my energy, words and playfulness. I made sure to keep the interactions fun, and focused my attention on Lauren to feel into what she desired in the moment. I made Lauren and her suitors look GOOD, I never brought them down. If her energy kept reaching for the flirtation, I supported that!

I kept the conversations going and included myself to bring the interactions up to higher peaks of joy. That’s called elevation.

I don’t feel jealous, instead I feel excited. The secret here is including myself in the scenario.

Here’s a tip about jealousy. Another way to describe jealousy is to feel excluded, so the antidote to feeling jealous is to include yourself in the situation, rather than excluding yourself. You can use this “jealousy tip” in your relationship, with your friends, and in your business. Just keep including yourself and see where this leads you. (This subject deserves a whole Newsletter, stay tuned!)

You see, the feminine is a capital YES! She’s a YES to everything that’s happening in the moment and allows the energies around her to flow. When Lauren gets hit on (she should have a Reality TV show, you can’t make this stuff up) I celebrate her AND the brave men who beam her with attention. Together, we all have an amazing time.

But the best part?

Women get more attractive every time we choose FUN over FEAR. Believe it or not, my boyfriend of 3 years thanks me for my flirtation, and the ways in which I elevate these scenarios because I bring all of that juicy energy home to our relationship when I return.

It’s a win win.
Use your feminine power to elevate, sister, and your life will absolutely amaze you.
Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Claim your 2016 Completion Intensive with me! These are 2 Hour Skype Intensives will help you complete the year with celebration, healing, and faith. We’ll complete patterns that no longer serve you, release beliefs that bring your down, and create new empowered visions that bring your life to new heights of creativity, purpose, and radiance. 2 hours of healing for $550. We can jam on your business, your dating life/ relationship, your message, trauma from the past, your worth, your body- YOU NAME IT. I’ve seen it all. Claim your spot by signing up for a discovery session with me: https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

I won’t be offering this type of coaching at this price point again in 2017, so reach out now if you want to claim this. Space is limited.

“WTF Am I Doing With My Life” Podcast Interview

Hey beautiful,

Have you ever asked yourself that question? I know I have, multiple times.

That’s why I was thrilled to be interviewed for the podcast, WTF Am I Doing with My Life? I felt so at home in this interview because this question was the catalyst for every major transformation in my life. It’s also the very question that brings most of my clients into my coaching practice.

The host, Kristy wanted me to share about my healing as a woman, and the continued healing I’ve provided for hundreds of women throughout the world. She already knew bits of my story because she attended one of my retreats last year, but she wanted to know more. She was willing to hear it all, from the big and painful points of my life, to the sweet and silly moments that have freed up me to believe in love again.

I’m so honored to share this interview with you. You’ll learn how I turned my pain into my purpose, the fierce power of anger when you deal with it responsibly, and how to turn a bummer into a breakthrough.

You’ll also learn how to manage your own “WTF” moment when you’re feeling stuck, because most likely you’re on the verge of a major uplevel in life that you won’t want to miss out on!

Click here to listen!

Hope you enjoy it.. Let me know what you think by responding to this email.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Are you dealing with your own “WTF Am I Doing With My Life” moment? Hop on the phone with me and we’ll get you back on track to loving your life and feeling fulfilled and on purpose again. There’s no need to stay stuck forever. Let’s close 2016 with that fire in your belly again. Click here to schedule your call with me to see if I’m the right coach for you.

The Cost of Being a Good Girl

Hey lovely,

On Monday I sent you a newsletter sharing all about a woman’s power and the hoops it has to go through in order to stay burning bright. I promised you a story of my own power going out when I was a little girl, so here it is.

I have one wound from my childhood that still shows up in my life today. I was three years old playing make believe in the dining room. I accidentally broke a glass candle holder while having a tea party with my imaginary friends. The glass broke all over the floor, and with tears in my eyes and the fear of getting in trouble bubbling in my snot, I brought the broken pieces to my babysitter to apologize. Without going in too much detail, I’ll tell you that her response deeply scared and traumatized me. I was eventually sent to my room for being such a bad girl.

I decided in that moment I could never, ever make a mistake again. My life depended on it. I had to be a “good girl” from that moment on.

This belief played out for a couple of decades and I avoided making mistakes at all costs. I would never be a bad girl again. I didn’t take risks in school and lived in fear most of the time when it came to my education. Instead I got really good at sports because I couldn’t get in trouble on the field.

As you can see, my true power started to fade as soon as I decided to be a good girl. I thought that in order to be powerful and good enough, that I had to be perfect, but get this.

Trying to be perfect is a defense mechanism. It’s a strategy to avoid pain.

Deciding to be a good girl was a way of protecting myself from feeling the pain that I didn’t know how to deal with when I was three years old. My nervous system and psyche were still developing, and they simply didn’t know how to handle the pain of a grown up hurting me and scaring me. Instead, I froze, and made the decision to never get close to that scenario again. I would stay far away from pain, and far away from mistakes.

I chose to be a good girl out of fear, not empowerment. This “good girl” persona was a very limited version of Chrissy. The good girl wasn’t an expression of Chrissy’s true power. I slowly but surely forgot who I really was before the fear took over.

As we all know, it’s impossible to go through life without making mistakes. I’ve had a long road with this one. Making mistakes today is still tough for me, and I still beat myself up at times with my words and energy, the same way my babysitter did with her actions.

When did I get my true power back? When I reconnected with my three year old self who was hurting and calling out for attention. She needed love, patience, and someone to hold her. Through years of coaching, trauma work, and the many intensive workshops I’ve attended, I’m happy to say that my three year old has been tended to, loved, and affirmed. I had to let her cry, kick, and scream it out. I had to give that little girl permission to defend herself and take her power back when she didn’t have the voice or courage to do so in the moment.

When I emotionally and somatically released that trauma from the past, a new confidence formed inside of myself. A new curiosity that was willing to make mistakes and learn from them. My life became brighter, more interesting, and vulnerable. I started living again and my power was remembered.

I finally woke up. I felt empowered again.

Here’s the truth about power. It never, ever goes out completely. There’s always a spark waiting for your attention. But how do we stoke that fire to a roaring flame again after so many years of hurt? We have to feel the pain with presence, love, and compassion.

If you want a formula for remembering your power, I have one. You must first build an internal sanctuary of awareness. The quiet place you return to with the breath, meditation, and embodiment. Another word for this? Presence. The ability to witness your current state physically, emotionally, and mentally without any judgment. This sanctuary can hold your pain, and from this space of presence, you can feel your pain and let those primary emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear move. This could look like quietly crying, or speaking the words your little one couldn’t say in the moment, defending against the person who hurt you. It could look like a conscious temper tantrum. The invitation is to see where this presence takes you.

Your true power is on the other side of this expressed movement. It’s on the other side of feeling your pain.

The difference between Chrissy now and Chrissy 10 years ago is that Chrissy today has a powerful sense of awareness and compassion for that little girl who simply had an accident. I’ve been able to go back in time and give that three year old girl what she needed to feel safe and secure. When she’s scared and worried that she’ll get hurt and in trouble after making a mistake, I breathe her in, and let her know that she’s safe, and that I’m driving the car now. She can relax and let go.

Thank you dear ones, for hearing my story, and holding it with so much love.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. If this newsletter struck a chord with you and you long to do some deeper work to remember your true power, hop on the phone with me. Women leaders must dig deep in order to express their gifts in the world. Schedule your discovery call with me find out how to transform your own pain into your purpose. On the call I’ll give you a taste of what coaching with me feels like.

https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

What “Radiance” Asks of Us

14712948_10105802128260263_564713019880822437_oI went to the ocean last night and got a message from Radiance Herself.

Radiance is an inside job.

She doesn’t require makeup, a promotion, a relationship, or a new house.

Radiance asks you to dig deep into the trenches of your pain. She asks you to face your fears head on. She invites you to dance with the waves and crashes of heartache so you can be taken by a force greater than your logical mind.

She doesn’t want you to stay safe. No, no, no.

She wants to wreck you.

Radiance asks us to desire. To desire so fiercely that you fall flat on your face. She’s asks you to risk embarrassment and rejection, heartbreak and jealousy, shame and criticism.

You see, a radiant woman has lived. She’s lost. But through it all she has loved.

Radiance reminds us that we can’t open without breaking. We can’t love without hating. We can’t be brave without fearing.

If you close your eyes and listen, you’ll hear Radiance’s invitation for you today.

Where must you go? What must you face?

When you answer Her call, please promise her something.

That you’ll be patient and gentle with yourself.

But please, for the sake of Radiance. Keep shining. Keep glowing. That’s how we see you and that’s how the world keeps spinning. We need your heat. We need your glow.

Now go, Radiant one.

Onward and upward, yes, but first, you gotta go down.

Love,
Chrissy

P.S. If you feel called to spread her Radiance, please share this message. It’s time.

The Real Definition of “Power” (It Might Surprise You!)

Hey gorgeous,

Have you ever questioned what truly POWER is?

My clients have been begging me to write a newsletter on this topic of POWER, so here I go.

A woman’s power is her unlimited source of creation. This is what you call on when you make healthy decisions, advocate for yourself, communicate effectively, and create harmony inside all scenarios despite the difficulty.

Your power is what helps you lift others up and inspire a room. Your power is what makes or breaks a bad date. It creates the space for intimacy and union. Your power leads you to forgiveness and reconciliation. Power is what you call on when you set up healthy boundaries and say NO to what no longer serves you. Your power is what generates your career, sex life, relationships, art, athletics, health, learning, and all of life combined.

Without a personal sense of power, it would be close to impossible to grow and function in the world today.

Do you have to be forceful to be powerful? No way. Your power is felt. It’s an energy. Your power evolves and has many different qualities. It can be soft, strong, vulnerable, devoted, honest, sensual, innocent, delicate, sexual, holy, shy, hilarious, and even surrendered. Your power is needed both in giving and receiving. It’s required when you’re born, and when you die.

When your power is activated in a healthy way, it can hold your whole human experience without any judgment. When your power is inflated it might overwhelm you and cause harm, and when it’s deflated, it might beat you up with criticism and depression.

Your true power is the middle path between the victim and the tyrant.

Can power be learned? Yes. But your true power? It’s remembered. It’s not something you can buy, purchase, or look for outside yourself. You were born with this power, a power unique to you.

Let me explain…

When you were just a baby you easily made eye contact with strangers and saw their beauty and wisdom in your eyes. That was your power. You also knew how to cry without any shame! Your crying was healthy and liberating, it simply told the world what you needed. Your power was present when you danced without abandon as a child, before the thought of being embarrassed ever crossed your mind.

But there’s one problem.

Life happens. We grow up and we get hurt, some more than others. Slowly but surely after every wound, hurt, and embarrassment, our power begins to fade.

Can you remember the first time your power deflated? It could have been when you made a mistake and got punished for it. When you got your first bad grade. When you felt embarrassed or ashamed for the first time over something that you did. When you weren’t invited to a birthday party and felt left out. When your little sibling was born and took mom and dad’s attention away from you. When you peed your pants and your friends laughed at you. When your parents got divorced. The death of a loved one or pet.

Maybe you experienced more serious trauma through physical, emotional, sexual, or verbal abuse as a child.

As you can see, our power has many hoops to jump through! We can’t get out alive without getting hurt.

My invitation for you this week:

Take some time to remember the first time you got hurt. What happened? What did you decide about yourself and the world after this experience? How did this hurt shape your life?

Stay tuned for my next newsletter where I share one of the deepest hurts from my childhood and how that experience shaped the course of my life. This story paints the picture a child’s power going out, but more than that, the journey of what it takes to turn your power back on.

Until then, have a GREAT week. If you have ANY questions about your own personal sense of power, please don’t hesitate to reach out by replying to this email, I love hearing from you!

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. When you claim your power once and for all, a whole new world opens up for you. I’m talking promotions, relationships, intimacy, forgiveness, proposals, time freedom and so much more. Sign up for adiscovery session with me and we’ll dive into what’s stopping you from living your most empowered life. As I mentioned last week, my coaching practice is beginning to shift from entrepreneurs to ALL women of all different lifestyles and careers, so if you want to claim one-on-one emotional support as a woman leader, now is the time to get on the phone with me. Next year my coaching focus will be on groups vs. the individual.

P.S.S. I’m offering mega discounts to the first three women to sign up! We’ll get creative together to make sure you close our 2016 with empowerment, presence, and purpose.

https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

How to Turn a Bummer into a Breakthrough

Hey gorgeous,

Last week a door closed on me which could have bummed me out.

I was all committed to getting my work done at the library that day, and low and behold, after all the prep of getting my materials ready for my day away from home, the library was closed.

Huge bummer.

But I didn’t let that those closed doors take me out. I stayed positive and looked around for the miracle.

I turn around and my little miracle showed up in the form of a 19 month old, two legged monkey with a bottle to her face and tail swinging between her legs.

This tiny human was accompanied by her patient and loving father, and I decided to make eye contact and say, “Hello!” to these complete strangers with a huge smile on my face.

That was the best decision I made all week.

Immediately this little monkey gave me a hug and a wet kiss on the lips.

Her dad and I got to talking and slowly but surely realized that we had a lot in common.

Education, transformation, Santa Barbara, Surfing… He and my boyfriend had more in common, but his wife and I are up to similar things in the world of transformation and healing.

He gave me his card and urged me to reach out so he could introduce us to his community of surfers and families in the area.

Would I have met these two beings if the library was open? Nope.

Would I have been reminded of the innocent purity of a 19 month old toddler who hasn’t yet developed any caution or mistrust of the world if the library was open? Nope.

Would I have felt lonely, stressed, and uninspired if the library was open and I went along with business as usual? You betcha.

The closed library taught me some very important lessons:

1. Attachment. If I had been attached to getting my work done in the library and gotten super bummed as a result, I would have suffered. Instead I went with the flow and said yes to whatever opportunity the Universe had in store for me.

2. The Universe always has your best intentions at heart. The key is staying open and available for the miracle, even when your plans fall through. The highest good (for all) with always prevail if you stay with the flow.

3. Staying busy hurts the spirit. I was staying busy and productive, trying to get my work done, when there was a beautiful opportunity for connection. I would have missed this interaction completely had I gone on with “busy-ness” as usual.

4. Trust what you love and who you love. I LOVE PLAYING WITH KIDS AND BABIES. They make me so happy. I was originally thinking of doing a self care day because my brain had been out of whack all week, but something told me that the spa wouldn’t give me what I needed. This little monkey-kiddo interaction helped me remember my purpose which is to play, serve, and wildly love as a vulnerable feminine leader. I still feel her monkey lips on my face!

5. Suffering occurs when we experience ourselves as separate from source. Connecting at the heart level is the most effective way to ease this suffering, this helps us return home, to the heart of the world. Connecting with these humans big and small made my heart sing, and I remembered that I’m never, ever alone.

If you’re feeling the pull to be more productive and effective, I invite you to tune into your true desires.

I didn’t actually want to get my work done at the library that day, I just thought I was supposed to be productive. Instead, I needed some play time with a little one and to make some new friends in my neighborhood.

Thanks to that interaction I created my first Facebook Live (omg!) as soon as I got home, I received the creativity I needed to keep going in my business, and I wrote 10 pages of content for my business because I was inspired, freed up, and connected. I was reminded of the simples powers of connection and play.

And I didn’t have to do this in the library! I got just as much done in my own home, surprise surprise. It was my internal state that allowed this, not the surroundings. All I needed was a simple loving interaction with two strangers.

Never underestimate the power of a smile and “Hello!”

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. I went away this past weekend to some hot springs up north to unplug completely. Thanks to this radical self care, I reconnected to my Self and my larger purpose in way like never before. Sometimes we have to get quiet enough to hear our power. Thanks to this getaway, I’m clear that my business will be shifting FOR GOOD. This means I’m only taking on a few more private clients before I move on to a new stage of leadership in my business. If you want to claim some wild woman coaching from me and receive the emotional support you need to bring your true purpose to life, let’s chat on a discovery session. I won’t be offering this kind of coaching in 2017, so now is your last chance to work with me in this way.

https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

How to Elevate Your Mood When You Dread the Day Ahead

Hey gorgeous,

Do you ever feel a sense of doom in the morning? Like… as soon as you wake up?

That was me this morning.

Yes, as much as I hate to admit it- I’m human too.

In this video, I reveal how I moved through the dread so I could get back in my power.

Screen Shot 2016-10-04 at 12.26.07 PM

In case you don’t have time to watch the video, here are my steps to elevate your bad mood:

1. Get out of bed. One foot in front of the other, dear.

2. Tell the truth (without needing someone to rescue you).

3. Cry it out. When we avoid our pain, not only do we forget who we are, but we live in boring stories of complaint and defenses. The transformation happens when you feel your pain and give it permission to move.

4. Find inspiration that helps you return to your source of feminine power. This could be a yoga class, a dance class, a singing class, a book… Something that will help you return to your radiance. For me I read a book called P***Y: A Reclamation, and realized that I was missing the most important ingredient in a woman’s life, PLEASURE.

5. Adorn yourself. Put on a new outfit that reflects the real, empowered, you. When you make this a pleasurable routine, notice what opens up.

Do you have tips that help you wake up in the morning in pleasurable and empowered ways? Share them with me by replying this email. I can’t wait to hear from you!

Thank you for reading and honoring my human-ness. We’re all in this together.

love,

Chrissy

P.S. Don’t let your doom keep you down. Sign for a quick discovery call with me and we will elevate your mood in 45 minutes and design a plan for you to reclaim your greatness FOR good. I’m not just working with women entrepreneurs anymore, all women of all different occupations deserve this space to come undone and transform into their power. If you’re ready for end 2016 with empowerment, presence, and purpose, I invite you to get on the phone with me for a deep dive into what’s stopping you from living the life you desire. Your happiness is right around the corner, love.

https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

How to Be an Empath Without Losing Yourself in the Process

Hey gorgeous,

Do you consider yourself an emotionally sensitive person? Do you ever feel like a sponge, soaking up the feelings of others, whether you want to or not?

You’re not alone, sister. I get it and I’ve been there. You’re an empath. Being an empath is when you’re affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, thoughts, health and moods. We feel what they feel. It’s a gift, especially for the healers, teachers, and transformers, but it can also be a curse.

As an empath myself, I know the benefits and costs of this way of being. I’m one of those highly sensitive people. If I walk into a grocery store, hospital, or seminar without a sense of rootedness, I can feel overwhelmed by the many feelings around me.

As a former school teacher in an underserved school district in the Bay Area, my empathic ways made it very hard for me to stay in the field because I felt a little too much. My students lived in worlds where gang violence, drug abuse, and accumulative trauma added up week after week, and I found myself crying on my walks home from school, unsure of whose emotions I was feeling: mine or my students’? It didn’t seem appropriate for me to teach my kids to read when they struggled for safety outside of the classroom. My sweet students’ nervous systems were working overtime, constantly questioning who they could trust and whether or not they were safe.

That was A LOT for me to handle, and because I wasn’t yet trained as a somatic facilitator and life coach, (and wasn’t even aware of what an empath was) I would leave the classroom day after day energetically drained and burned out. On top of that, I was always sick with a cold. I blamed this on the normal germs in the classroom, but after really looking into this, my body was simply working overtime, feeling for me and my students.

I had no idea how to facilitate learning without losing myself in the feelings of others. I felt the fears, shame, sickness and worries FOR my students. Sure my empathy made it easy for me to know how my students were doing emotionally and helped me sensitively connect with them in really powerful ways, but I was missing a valuable tool for healing.

Detachment. There’s a huge difference between feeling FOR someone, and feeling WITH someone in empathy. When we feel for, we lose our own experience and suffer, when we feel with someone, we stay connected to our side of the court and grow in grounded power. When we feel for others we lose ourselves and sometimes violate another person’s process. When we feel with and hold the space for, as a witness, as a holder, we don’t take on their pain as our own. We have more capacity for clear seeing and clear knowing, and as a result we stay healthy, grounded, and open.

Our intuition thrives when we stay on our side of the court.

This video will explain how I coach as an empath without losing myself in the process:

Screen Shot 2016-10-05 at 8.21.21 AM

Feeling for others isn’t the way of the healer. I’ve learned this the hard way. When I was in the 4th grade, I got pretty sick. My grandmother came to live with my family shortly after my grandpa passed away, and she needed a great deal of care due to her achey body suffering from arthritis.

As a young empath, with zero understanding of my ways of feeling, I did what I knew best: I felt for her.

Without consciously knowing it, (and without any scientific proof) I felt her arthritis and took it on inside my body.  I developed a form of arthritis called spondyloarthropathy. I had to quit all of my sports (athletics were my entire life), take giant anti-inflammatory pills every morning, get blood tests every week, get my swollen knee drained from time to time, and commit to tons of physical therapy in order to get my body back. This healing process took two years.

I use caution when sharing this story because, I get it, this might sound nuts. But after all the work I’ve done over the years to better understand my psyche and spirit, this makes way too much sense. It’s no coincidence that two weeks after my grandmother moved in with me that I developed arthritis. This is the power and demise of the empath.

Then, this past spring, my dad was diagnosed with Cancer. I went home to our house to help out the week of his surgery, and low and behold, I developed an infection in my uterus and bladder. What?  My dad’s prostate had Cancer, so my body felt like it had to feel it for my dad. It took me a while to move through this one, but this was the final wake up call I needed to turn my empathic ways around.

My Dad is Cancer free now (thank God), and the most important lesson I’ve received from this journey is to let him heal on his own, in his own way. Detachment here is key.

Today I have ownership over my empath ways. This is what happens when you bring a shadow to the light. Revealing this “blind spot” and then transforming it has been so important for me as a facilitator and coach.

Today I use my empath ways for good. I can redirect the empath when she’s trying to take on the feelings for others. I have a way of noticing it, feeling it, and then redirecting it in ways that serve me and my community in more appropriate ways. I’m no longer (as) exhausted after leading retreats, I barely ever get sick, and I have more access to my intuition. I know how to distinguish which feelings are mine, and which feelings are my clients’, friends’, or even the world’s. It’s been pretty liberating. Do I still feel depressed from time to time when the world suffers? Yes!

Now I simply ask myself this question, “Is this pain mine?” If it isn’t, I say a prayer for healing, and let it go.

So with that, I want to thank you for reading my story. We might have different perspectives and beliefs, but I want to appreciate you for respecting my understanding of the empath. I’m sure my own understanding will transform and shift over time, but this is where I’m at now.

It feels right to get this newsletter out before leading my favorite retreat this weekend, Celebration of Woman. It’s an emotionally intensive weekend, an epic experience for women to get in touch with their feelings and heal traumas from the past so they can step into their full potential. It’s a HUGE weekend, and luckily this newsletter reminds me how to stay on my side of the court while simultaneously facilitating a healing experience.

Thank you so much for reading, and if anything opened up for you after reading this newsletter, please respond by replying to this email. I’d love to hear from you!

All my love,

Chrissy

P.S. Do you desire support in your own leadership as an empath? Sign up for a discovery session with me and we’ll get your empowered leadership back on track. This free session is 45 minutes long and it’s perfect way to distinguish if your empathy is hurting you or supporting you. Together we’ll get your inner Empath back on board with who you are and what you came here to do. https://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

I’m a Life Coach for Wild Women Leaders who want to change the world. Our planet is crying out for transformation that only you can create and deliver, but the first step in making a positive difference is getting clear on your message. That’s where I come in. I’ll help you find your message using your Wild Woman Wisdom, a new paradigm of leadership requiring emotional depth, innate trust, vulnerability, and a strong container where it’s safe to fall. As your coach, I’ll hold the safest space possible for you to crumble, because in the fall you realize how high you can rise.

I Crashed and I Couldn’t Believe It

Hey gorgeous,

I’ve been saying this for years: When you expand, you contract. When you open, you’re going to close. This is what I teach, this is what I know in my bones.

But last week after returning from an epic trip to Burning Man, I found myself in a familiar place: the crash after an epic experience.

Did I welcome the crash? Barely. Did I trust that this crash was part of the process? That going down was just as important as going up? Nope. My defended mind told me this: “Why did you go to Burning Man again? That wasn’t worth it. You didn’t have any fun. That experience wasn’t real. It’s time for you to move on and become a grown up.”

Notice how kind my super ego is to me 🙂

Why am I letting you in on this experience? Because it’s real, and what I stand for more than anything is vulnerable truth telling. You might have noticed that I didn’t send you an email last week. That’s because the lengthy email I did write you (which will be saved for another time) was inauthentic. Writing that email was an act of avoidance, denying what I was truly feeling in the moment because I didn’t want my community to see how weak and human I was.

What happened? I couldn’t bring my truth seeking, annoyingly honest conscience to press send.

So here it is. The ugly, naked truth. I was a mess last week! Because I got SO intimate with the mess, I want to tell you in real-time what I did in the crash so I could eventually feel like myself.

1. After a ton of resistance, I finally said YES to the crash. I said, “Hey you, crash that feels like sh*t, I love you, let’s do this right, hand it hand. I’ll get the Grey’s Anatomy loaded up on Netflix, and we’ll take this crash for a binge of TV without any guilt. What should we wear? Fuzzy socks and PJs? Fleece Blanket wrapped around us? Great. I’ll light us some candles and together we’ll tune out the world.” That. Was. Awesome. Because I gave into the binge without any guilt, I now feel fully satisfied and ready to take on the world.

2. On Saturday I got my first hair cut in six months, and even got some highlights! It was time for a shift, and hair certainly carries energy from the past. I went in knowing exactly what I wanted and walked out super happy with a semi new ‘do.

3. I saw my therapist/coach in person. I didn’t hide any of my feelings and just laid it all out there. After being heard, understood, and supported, I felt like a new person at the end of that hour.

4. Hung out with my amazing friends and held their 2 month old baby for two hours. Babies are the best medicine, EVER. Getting out of isolation was the ticket here. Sillyness and babylove was just what I needed. I also made sure to tell them the truth about how I was doing last week. My shame couldn’t survive when I gave it a voice.

5. Yoga. As soon as I sat on my mat last week I felt a sense of relief. I had a ton of resistance on the way to the class, it was hard to even put on my shoes to get out the door, but the feeling of returning to my precious body and giving it the stretching and resourcing that it needed helped me return to the present moment.

6. Got grounded in the truth. My ego judged my experience, telling me that I made a mistake in going to Burning Man, that I can’t handle crazy fun trips anymore, and that I deserve to be punished for taking that kind of time off from work. The truth? I had an awesome time at Burning Man, and I needed a little extra time to integrate my experience when I got home. I went down, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Our judgments cause the suffering. The truth sets us free. Instead of making myself wrong, I accepted where I was at!

7. Awareness. As soon as it hit me that I was in a “contraction” post epic experience, I had a big laugh. I always teach about these “down” states at our workshops and retreats, and I seemed to forget that I could experience these downs as well. My awareness around this state helped me arrive in the present moment without the worry and self loathing. With enough presence, acceptance, and awareness, my crash had the safe space to transform.

8. I went home to my parents’ house and got some precious family time in. I enjoyed time in nature, ate super well, and received love from my makers (including their furry pets!). We had some great conversations and I left their presence on Sunday ready to get my week started from a more grounded space.

There it is. The beauty in the mess.

When we accept where we’re at with love, compassion, and devotion, we realize that life is really just a practice of opening and closing.

What we choose to believe about ourselves in the close is what matters. Who we are in the transition between expansion and contraction is the miracle.

Enjoy the ride, sister. When you go down, just put your arms up and say, “Yes!”

Thanks for reading my truth, sister! I appreciate it. I hope it gives you permission to speak your own truth as well.

love,

Chrissy

P.S. Stay tuned for a really cheesy story about a dance routine my friends I put together at Burning Man. Let’s just say I found my purpose, and it involves a Mop. Yes. A mop.

10 Ways to Handle Your Entrepreneur Blues

Hey Gorgeous,

If you’re an entrepreneur, I’ll take the wild guess that you’re rockin’ and visible on social media. You show the world what you’re up to, and you look good doing it. But what do you do when you’re not doing well? What happens when all of your personal growth work blows up in your face and you find yourself at the bottom of an emotional roller coaster- ashamed, scared, and alone? Don’t worry sister, I’ve got your back.

I call this moment, the crash. For some entrepreneurs this is the end, but for the extraordinary, this is Grace. With the right perspective you can experience the bottom of your emotional rollercoaster as a rite of passage into your leadership. When you safely transition through these dark times you find out who you really are. This is where your authentic mission can finally unfold.

From one emotional woman leader to another, I have some tips for you to move through the entrepreneur blues in healthy and responsible ways. If you take these tips to heart, you’ll be able to leverage your uncomfortable emotions into higher levels of peace, happiness, and creativity.


Get Out of the Funk – 12 Things You Can Do Right Now To Turn Around Your Mood Today

Number #5 is my favorite – Get your free checklist when you sign up below

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I know the emotional landscape of entrepreneurship well. From my own experience first hand, to coaching in my private practice and retreats, I can tell you that choosing this path of entrepreneurship is NOT easy. It’s not for the faint of heart. Anxiety, overwhelm, fear, or sadness are typical emotions to experience while running a business, and if you don’t experience those feelings, you’re either lying to yourself or avoiding.

This blog is designed to demystify those feelings so you can leverage them to your advantage.

Years ago, when faced with painful emotions, I would numb out through prescription medication, drinking, unhealthy relationship dynamics, or total avoidance through TV and other distractions. I kept my emotions inside, and as you can guess, those methods made my anxieties and emotional pains worse. Here’s why.

Emotions are meant to move. The root of the word is from the French, “Emouvoir,” which simply means, “to move”. Not only does it take TONS of energy to keep your emotions stagnant and hidden inside, but denying them have harmful effects on your body and spirit. When we push away, avoid, or ignore our uncomfortable emotions, they will always find a way out when we least expect it which could look like depression, insomnia, anxiety, anger explosions, or addictions. In other words, when those repressed feelings are triggered, you’ll find yourself acting out in ways that don’t align with your highest good. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Here are 10 Ways to deal with your entrepreneur blues in healthy and responsible ways (so you can get back in the game and make a positive difference in the world)

Tip #1: Get Real and Breathe. I invite you to take a slow, delicious breath. Like… right now. Close your eyes and take some delight in the stillness of your being. When you tune in to this sweet spot, you’ll notice spaciousness open up inside. The space to hold the noise, judgments, and worries. As you continue to breathe, pay attention to your body and the different sensations you notice inside. This is the process of getting real. When you connect with the physical sensations in the body, your stories, judgments, and worries begin to disappear. When we take that conscious breath, we get closer to our own personal truth. The judgmental story of, “I’m such a failure and I stand no chance at succeeding,” can transform into the truth: “I’m sad right now.”  Notice the difference in energy. When we drop into what’s real, we can do our work.

Tip #2: Choose This Experience.  If you can’t be with your feelings, your emotions are going to get the best of you and you’ll slip into longer periods of depression, anxiety, and even more worry than you started. Trying to change your feelings is like putting a fire out with a blowtorch. My invitation for you is to choose your current state instead of pushing it away. Making this conscious choice is necessary, because this tells your spirit that you’re willing to let go of control. Your suffering ends when you accept where you’re at.

Tip #3:  Welcome Your Pain.  As human beings we all have emotions and it’s important to give them space, even when your emotions are painful. This “welcoming meditation” is an opportunity to welcome what is. Find a sacred space, and make a commitment to focus in on your uncomfortable emotion for 5-20 minutes. Some uncomfortable emotions might be fear, sadness, jealousy, anger, anxiety, overwhelm, dread, heartbreak, frustration, or grief etc. Locate the feeling in the body with your felt sensations. Stay out of story, and take your thinking cap off. Simply feel the uncomfortable emotion with patience and presence. This act, as scary and uncomfortable as it might feel, will help you calm down. When you return to the body and are a total yes to what’s happening, as scary as it might be, you mind can let go, and your judgments will dissolve. Notice how your overwhelming feelings evolve and shift as you put your welcoming presence on it.

Tip #4:  Emotional Release. This is probably the most important step: letting your emotions move. Give yourself permission to release your emotions through crying, (safely) punching your pillows, or even screaming into a pillow. If you feel resistant to doing this, I get it. This probably sounds ridiculous. But the truth is, the greater the resistance, the greater the wound.  Put on a song that evokes your emotion at hand, and give yourself the space to let go. Feel your body and its natural impulse, and then let it out. Stay fully present during this process; before, during and after. It’s called emotional release for a reason- you’ll feel a great amount of relief after just 90 seconds of crying, punching, or screaming. By moving your emotions, you’ll free up your energy and create new space inside.

Tip #5: Stop Asking Why, and Allow. When you question where you’re at and try and change your experience you’ll go down a rabbit hole of shame by making yourself wrong. Questioning is a way that your ego hijacks your experience. Questioning where you’re at is a form of resistance, and resistance is the nemesis to self-love and presence. What you resist persists. The invitation is to compassionately accept where you’re at and find love ASAP. Notice what happens when you consciously allow all of your experience? Allowing the critic, allowing the fear, allowing the pain, allowing the comparison.  Love yourself madly in this space and give yourself a break!

Tip #6: Find Connection. Suffering happens when we experience ourselves as separate from source, as separate from the goodness of the world. When we isolate, we suffer. The human spirit is meant for connection! You might be super connected with the world via social media, but it’s way too easy to keep your overwhelming thoughts and painful emotions at bay when we’re spending most of our time online. So, find a way to reconnect to Source in a way that’s right for you, and then, reconnect in real time with REAL human beings who can love you, hug you, and support you.

Tip #7: Be Vulnerable and Expose Your Darkness. Open up to those you love and trust with the intention to share how you’re really doing, without making yourself wrong. Shine light on the ugly, scary, shadows that you would never share publicly. Why? Your shadows (like shame, fear, or anger) THRIVE in the dark, but when you expose them and speak about them, their overwhelming qualities subside. They aren’t shadows when you shine light on them, it’s like turning a light on in a dark room.  When your shadows are heard, witnessed, and held by someone you love and trust, you’ll notice immediate transformation and relief, and new lightness will come through. .

Exposing your darkness helps your pain transform. When you expose your fear you get to see how courageous you truly are. When you share about your shame you’ll get to know your worth. When you claim your anger, you’ll unleash your unshakeable passion. Honesty & connection are your ingredients here, the catalysts for transformation. Never underestimate the power of being seen and heard for who you are and what you’re going through. You shadows will transform before your eyes, and your vulnerability will give those around you permission to be their own authentic selves as well.

Tip #8: Get Crystal Clear on What You Need. Your suffering is an expression of an unmet need. A need that wasn’t met years and years ago, a need that is coming back now to remind you of your power. What are some basic human needs? Belonging. Independence. Cooperation. Understanding. Safety. Relaxation. To be heard. To be seen. When you’re clear on what you need, you can get what you want. It’s that simple. Take some time now to follow your suffering back to an unmet need, and then in your own time, find a way to give yourself what you need without any guilt.

#9 Delegate to End Overwhelm. Emotions tend to blow up in our faces when try to accomplish everything on our own. When we get overwhelmed, our sanity doesn’t stand a chance. As feminine leaders, we need spaciousness and mental clarity to safely explore our emotions, but when we’re overwhelmed our emotions will pile up and then explode when we least expect it. My invitation for you is to let go of any activities or chores that no longer light you up through the art of DELEGATION.

We get what we focus on. When you’re focused on accomplishing everything including making dinner for four, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, and running a business, chances are your business will not function at the highest level you desire because you’re spread too too thin! This is not a recipe for success, this is a recipe for emotional breakdowns. I’m calling you forth to hand over any activities that don’t serve you so you can function at the highest vibration of creativity, power, and love. What activities can you delegate to others? Laundry? Virtual Assistant services? Cooking? You deserve this, trust me.

Tip #10: Self-Care. If you fall in the camp of the successful women entrepreneurs who stay very busy and efficient most of the day, but forget to nourish, feed, or love your body, this tip is for you. You cannot achieve the level of impact and success you desire without a high functioning body and mind. You must make your self-care a priority. I’ve heard it all before: “I’m in the middle of a launch, I don’t have time for a massage. I don’t have time for yoga.” These are excuses. Do you have the time to feel like crap in the lowest state of creativity and power? I think not.  Adding one hour of exercise, meditation, or even a massage will add more creative hours to your day because your brain and entire nervous system will be more effective and efficient. Skipping out on self-care is skipping out on your highest, creative potential.

Like I mentioned before, your emotions are meant to move, and when you stay stagnant and still behind the computer, your emotions get stuck! Get your body moving and trust what opens up as a result. If you stick with a self-care routine as a non-negotiable, I guarantee you’ll have more facility over your emotions because you’ll feel steady as opposed to all over the place.

Now, back to you, lady. Where in life are you abandoning your needs and self-care?

You have a special gift that the world needs, and others will heal by you being the greatest expression of yourself. When you’re overworked, stressed, overwhelmed, or worse, AVOIDING the pain you’re actually feeling, you block your real gifts from coming through.

Give yourself the gift of self-love and acceptance, and see what opens up. You’ll be amazed.

Much love,
Chrissy

P.S. Need to get out of the funk, like.. NOW? Download my checklist: “Get Out of the Funk.” I share a 12 step checklist for emotional entrepreneurs to get back in the game when they’ve been lost in a dark hole of depression, anxiety, or fear. Download it now so you can feel like yourself again and make the difference you want to make in the world, FINALLY!


Get Out of the Funk – 12 Things You Can Do Right Now To Turn Around Your Mood Today

Number #5 is my favorite – Get your free checklist when you sign up below

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