How do you respond when your friend gets hit on more than you? Whether you’re in a relationship or single, this can be a triggering subject for many women.
That’s why this newsletter describes what it takes to be an AMAZING Wing Woman (who gets more attractive by the minute).
I was at a conference last week with 200 women entrepreneurs, and my mastermind partner is one of the sexiest, most beautiful and magnetic women on the planet. You’ve probably heard me talk about her before, her name is Lauren.
(Notice how I’m not writing the word “Ouch.”)
1. There’s the awkward friend. She goes silent, gets on her phone, doesn’t interact in any way and watches the flirtation from her corner, feeling frozen and stuck. She feels insecure and shrinks, making up a story about how unlovable/unattractive she is this, and this interaction proves it.
2. The aggressive friend. She puts the guy down for hitting on her friend, and might even say, “Dude, you need to go away, we’re not interested.” This is what I call “going in for the kill.” She makes fun of his efforts, and emasculates him. She also makes her friend wrong for receiving all of the attention, and tanks the whole interaction with her aggressive energy. This scenario isn’t fun.
3. The Wing Woman gone wrong. This is the friend who claims to be a wing woman, but isn’t at all, and tries to steal the man’s attention in order to “one up” her friend. This one feels pretty yucky, and no one stands a chance to have fun.
These three scenarios don’t feel good for anyone! They bring the energy down.
Want to know how I do it?
4. I elevate. This is the kind of friend I am. I elevate the scenario, the flirtation, and the energy. I’ve been in a serious relationship for years, but when my friends get hit on, I get in there too, with encouragement, some silliness, and celebration of what’s going on in the moment.
This past week I was a total YES to these men hitting on Lauren. I approved of their desires with my energy, words and playfulness. I made sure to keep the interactions fun, and focused my attention on Lauren to feel into what she desired in the moment. I made Lauren and her suitors look GOOD, I never brought them down. If her energy kept reaching for the flirtation, I supported that!
I kept the conversations going and included myself to bring the interactions up to higher peaks of joy. That’s called elevation.
I don’t feel jealous, instead I feel excited. The secret here is including myself in the scenario.
Here’s a tip about jealousy. Another way to describe jealousy is to feel excluded, so the antidote to feeling jealous is to include yourself in the situation, rather than excluding yourself. You can use this “jealousy tip” in your relationship, with your friends, and in your business. Just keep including yourself and see where this leads you. (This subject deserves a whole Newsletter, stay tuned!)
You see, the feminine is a capital YES! She’s a YES to everything that’s happening in the moment and allows the energies around her to flow. When Lauren gets hit on (she should have a Reality TV show, you can’t make this stuff up) I celebrate her AND the brave men who beam her with attention. Together, we all have an amazing time.
But the best part?
Women get more attractive every time we choose FUN over FEAR. Believe it or not, my boyfriend of 3 years thanks me for my flirtation, and the ways in which I elevate these scenarios because I bring all of that juicy energy home to our relationship when I return.
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