How to Ask for What You Want and Receive Support like a Goddess

If you’re new to my work, HELLO! I’m so happy you’re here. Let me introduce myself…

I’m Chrissy Brady-Smith, feminine emancipator and women’s empowerment coach. I do the work of the heart.

I believe a woman’s vulnerability is her greatest gift.

Some call me a heart worker because I help women find, face, feel, and free all the fearful layers that cover the heart which deflect intimacy and vulnerability. When these strategies and defenses soften and heal, women make better choices which impact their relationships, family, businesses, and world for the better. When a woman’s love is liberated, the planet heals.

Last week, I took this mission up a few hundred vulnerable notches.

Following my blog post last Friday, I got the pull from Grace to dive deeper into my teenager’s story. I decided to tell the whole truth about her sexual wounding from high school, a truth you can find on my Facebook Biz. This link will take you to the newsletter, plus new vulnerable stories.

Let’s begin with the MINUTE before posting my story. I get this text from an unknown number:

“Just feel called to reach out and say thank you. Thank you for all you do. You are a fucking rockstar, badass, warrior, goddess woman. Thank you.”

“Um. WHAT?” I say to myself, “Who are you and how did you know I REALLY need to hear that?”

I took that text as a sign to finally hit “post,” and THANK GOD I did.  I shared a picture of my 17 year old self and two very raw and naked stories from my teen years that had been hiding in the darkness of my psyche for 15 years. What followed was a tidal wave of support from fans, friends, family, moms of ex boyfriends, and complete strangers.

Turns out every inner teenager has a story, and my story telling gave permission for others to honor their past as well.

But want to know a secret? I freaked out before, during, and after posting those stories. Like… FREAKED. I have never felt more resistance in my life! Every excuse showed up in my mind to try and steer me off course.

I knew that without the proper support, I could very easily take the post down with the simple click of “delete,” (something I’ve done in the past).

So, what did I do?

I wrote a mass text to 15 of my greatest champions and biggest supporters with a clear request.

Here’s the first text: Screen Shot 2017-05-11 at 4.26.03 PM

Here’s the next text to a group of new friends the following day (when I was thinking about taking the post down).

“I’m reaching out with a vulnerable request. Yesterday I posted the most risky and vulnerable post on my Facebook Biz page naming the sexual traumas I experienced in high school, and the ways in which I’m taking back my healthy sense of aliveness in my body now. I’ve been in a huge healing process this month around my sexuality and it’s time now to share it about publicly. Would you be willing to read it and show your support with either a comment or even just a “heart” when you have a chance? Thank you. I’m eternally grateful. Please know, if there’s any way I can support you with these vulnerable leaps, let me know, and I’ll be there.”

That’s asking for what you want. I let these friends into my world and gave them the gift to support me.

In the past I would have seen these requests as a signs of weakness or burden.

My younger self thought she had to battle with life on her own, but the Goddess knows how to dance with life and attract what she desires with action. This clear request set everyone up for success: Myself, my community, and the fans on my Facebook page. They got to experience what support looks, feels, and sounds like thanks to these glorious champions of mine- even on a story that brings up so much shame and embarrassment.

Not to mention, my boyfriend Steve’s comment was the biggest “mic drop” I’ve ever seen. You’ve gotta see it.

The healing balm for shame and embarrassment is LIGHT. Shine light on it, baby. Shine light on it now. Give those shadows a voice and bring them out of the darkness so they can be purified and healed by light. Take baby steps. Share with one person who makes you feel safe. Let yourself be seen and heard.

This was such a reparative experience for my teen self.

Thanks to this post and request, my whole purpose as a women’s empowerment coach has begun to shift, and I have no doubt my voice will be going back to high school campuses to transform the realm of sex education. There’s too much wounding in this area that we can’t afford to ignore any longer.

So thank you, dear for reading my story, yet again.

If you couldn’t already tell, vulnerability is the cornerstone of my business, and this is JUST the beginning.

If you need support in vulnerably asking for what YOU want without any shame or excuse getting in the way, let me know in the comments. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. I’m still offering 3 Hour intensives (done by Skype) to anyone desiring deeper healing for their teenage selves. This offer will be available until my BIRTHDAY next week May 18th. Our time together will free you up in your voice, body, heart, and mind. Write me an email at chrissy@chrissybradysmith.com to set up your introductory call with me to see if this coaching is right for you, with the subject line: Teen Intensive. I’m SO excited to get to know you.

(Teenage) Sexual Healing

I haven’t shared much about my sexuality on this page. I have some old conditioning that still plays out in my head, telling me that I’ll be disliked or shunned for speaking out about this. I have a fear of letting people down for sharing this part of myself. People like my family.

But as a Women’s Empowerment Coach, I know the cost of shame. Shame thrives in the dark, so I see it as my purpose to give my shame a voice. If this helps ONE person, then this post will be worth it.

I’m a truth teller. And it fucking kills me a times. Here it goes…

18222610_1964537307108719_7398294609465408419_nDo you relate to your teenage self?

I’ve been remembering my own teenage self lately, and giving her lots of air time to be heard.

After watching the Netflix show, “13 Reasons Why,” a show about high school bullying, sexual assault, and suicide- I’ve remembered experiences from my teenage years that caused a lot of harm and hurt.

High school was an important time for me; it was the best of times and the worst of times. I experienced many firsts. First period. First boyfriend. First kiss.

For the most part, I felt very freed up in my sexuality. It felt healthy, pure, and innocent. I waited until I was “ready” to have sex with my high school sweetheart. A young man I loved and trusted in every way. But after a couple of minor sexual traumas in my teen years, I lost that sense of innocent sexual curiosity and expression.

Those minor traumas looked like getting caught by a cop in the back of a car, and being told that I was a whore. My very first boyfriend and I weren’t having sex, but I was caught with my clothes off, and the cop locked me in the car and shined his flashlight all over my naked body. He later let me out of the car to give me a lecture, which humiliated me even more. He assumed we were having sex, which we weren’t, as I was still a virgin and not yet ready. Did he actually tell me I was a whore? I don’t think so, but that’s the message I received from him (and his flashlight). Without going into more detail, I couldn’t process that night with anyone. I was too ashamed and scared.

Then at a high school party, my high school sweet heart and I were getting intimate in a room and I later found out that a bunch of his friends were spying on us outside. (By “intimate” I mean: awkward, teenage, ouch, this is uncomfortable, what are we doing, I’m doing this because I love you and we finally have a private room with a bed… sex.) Rumors were spread. Horrified? Embarrassed? Those words don’t come close to what I felt. To top it all off, this never got resolved. Bye bye healthy and curious expression of sexuality, hello shame.

Thanks to the show “13 Reasons Why,” I’ve had no choice but to remember those painful moments in my teenage years, and my intuition told me it was time to do the deeper work that I’ve been avoiding. As many of you know, when I was 21 I was raped, which wound up being the most intense sexual trauma I’ve ever experienced. But I’ve processed and healed that one. Those times from high school were never thought about again… Until now.

With the help of my couple’s therapist/ coach and chiropractor/ reiki master, I’ve been going back in time to reclaim parts of my sexuality that I abandoned in my teenage years due to trauma, gossip, and pain. I’ve been able to take back that healthy sense of aliveness I used to feel in my body before I got hurt. It’s been transformational.

Why is teenage healing so important for adult women?

Our teenage years are the time of new beginnings, innocence, and curiosity. This is our foundation as women; the stage of puberty where young women blossom into their potential. Unfortunately this precious time is either rushed through or completely dismissed and forgotten this day in age. There’s sadly no rite of passage welcoming a girl into her womanhood after her first menstrual cycle. This first cycle marks the end of her childhood and the beginning of womanhood. That’s a very big deal!

Without a warm welcoming and safe mentoring, many girls rush through this stage and grow up too fast, or they miss it completely and never grow up.

I have an exercise for you to welcome your inner teenager back into your heart so you can write a new story for her so she can feel safe to keep growing, expression, and exploring.

Put on a song that reminds of you your teenage innocence, close your eyes, and summon your inner teenager back. See her in your mind’s eye, and really sense her and tune in to her spirit. What does she need? In your own time, affirm her and let her know what she needs to hear so she can keep going on this path to becoming a woman. Become the mentor she perhaps never had. Let her know how beautiful she is, how accepted she is, and how proud you are of her. Really love her with your words and attention. If anyone ever hurt her, let her know that it was not her fault. Let her know how amazing it is to be a woman, and how much she has to look forward to on this journey.

Your inner teenager might have a lesson for you as well.

What can your inner teenager teach you? Get out your journal, and let her speak to you through your pen. Have a conversation with her and let yourself be loved.

At our COR Woman workshop, we do a lot of healing at this level through the archetype of The Maiden. She’s one of the 7 archetypes we explore because this is how we become whole women. When each of these 7 archetypal qualities are summoned back into our hearts, minds, and voices, we integrate into our true selves, where our whole range can be celebrated and expressed. This is where we step outside our comfortable bubbles and write new stories for ourselves.

So… I want to thank you for hearing my story. It’s vulnerable for me to share my teenage self with you, but I trust that you’ll honor my process as I will of course honor yours.

But most of all, thank you for hearing YOUR OWN TEENAGER’S story. She needs your love, attention, and affection. Thank you for honoring her. Let me know how it goes.

Hugs,

Chrissy

P.S. I’m offering Maiden Healing Intensives now. Email me at chrissy@chrissybradysmith.com for details with the subject line: Maiden Healing.

Bringing Back Rites of Passage

It’s workshop season here in Chrissy land! Just over a week ago I helped facilitate the Noble Man workshop, where we held the space for men to heal their relationships with women. And tonight, I’m headed on a Red-Eye flight to Florida because I’ll be facilitating another COR Woman workshop on the East Coast. I’m so excited for the sisterhood and healing that will emerge in this new state!

These weekends are so powerful, and I want to tell you why. We bring ceremonial initiations back to the West.

But wtf does that mean? Let me explain.

Our Western culture is sadly missing the Rite of Passage ceremony process. When girls and boys go through puberty here in the West, there’s little to no acknowledgment of this rite of passage into adulthood.

Without the safe space to ponder and reflect during this time, we either grow up way too fast and miss out on our innocence, or we remain children forever.

Without a clear ritual marking the end of childhood and the beginning of adulthood, men and women have a difficult time maturing into their potential.

That’s one of the reasons we bring “Initiation” into our COR workshops; we help women and men grow up.

Initiations are really important; they mark the end of something, and the beginning of something new. So much intention goes into creating our Initiation day at COR so our participants can let go of a particular pain, fear, or struggle, and step into their new expression of being. We bring elements of ritual, witnessing, eldership, prayer, music, and Grace into the circle so men and women can have an embodied transformation where they shed the old, and step into the new.

It’s a day to remember who you are, and forget who you’re not. This “rebirth” can go so deep that it lasts a lifetime. I wouldn’t be the leader that I am today had it not been for my own initiation 6 years ago.

Over the years of working with women and men post Initiation day, we’ve discovered some “best practices” for keeping the transformation alive out in the world. If you haven’t done one of our workshops, don’t worry, these tips apply to you too. You can use these tips to remember who you really are. Each tip I have for you involves activating something very important, your True Self.

Here’s how you can keep your True self alive after any big transformational experience.

1. Daily meditation or prayer practice. The ultimate container at our COR workshops is the holding we receive from Grace. That’s why we encourage our participants to commit to a daily meditation practice for the rest of their lives as a way to keep the portal to the Divine open. Without this daily commitment to interior silence and trusting the present moment, our survival strategies will come back and try and hijack us from our essential goodness and truth. Life is noisy, and meditation is an effective way of getting quiet enough to hear your True Self again.

2. Contribution. Your initiation isn’t complete until you share what you’ve learned and received with the world. Contribution is a one of the greatest ways to activate the healthy self. It gets us out of our own story, and into the what really matters. How can you share your gifts with the world? Who could you help? Where could you volunteer? Staffing one of our workshops and witnessing new brothers and sisters in their own initiations is a beautiful way to give back. We hear staffing is just as powerful, if not more powerful, than your own initiation.

3. Daily Movement. We spend a great deal of time connecting with our bodies at our workshops. During our Initiations in particular, we let our bodies do the talking. The healing lasts because we go straight into the nervous system for a lasting shift. When we disconnect from the body and live in our heads, we suffer. If you’ve been struggling lately, my invitation for you is to take care of your body and give it what it needs. Does your body need yoga, or something more physical like boxing? Your body might need a dance break, or a even a massage.

4. Community. It’s easy to forget who we are when we isolate, so connecting with your community is essential. Who are your biggest supporters and champions? Who was your buddy at your last COR workshop? Sometimes we need to pick up the 500 lb. phone and ask for support. Your vulnerability is the muscle to strengthen here. I’ve also discovered that inviting friends to participate in our COR workshops is a great way to keep our transformation alive. When we share this space with our community and loved ones, we can return to the real world on the same page. The bonding that happens at these workshops between friends and family is unreal.

5. One-on-One Support. Finding a therapist, coach, our counselor who sees the “real” you and holds a safe container for you heal is another important step in keeping your transformation alive. I have SO much support for every level of my being. From reiki masters, chiropractors, therapists, coaches, and healers- every layer of my human condition is supported week after week.

Growing up isn’t easy, but it sure is fulfilling with the right support.

If any of these tips struck a chord with you, you can schedule a FREE Discovery Session with me. Ready to finally experience your own initiation at one of our COR workshops? Ready to work one on one with me?

May your initiation last a lifetime,

Chrissy

P.S. Thank you for your outpouring of love regarding my Core Wound video that I shared with you a couple of weeks ago. Your support means the world to me, and I’m thrilled to hear that you are beginning to heal your own core wound thanks to my story. Ready to dig deep into your own Core Wound and transform it? Schedule your Discovery Call here and I’ll help you take the next step in your journey.

My Core Wound (Teaching + Video)

Hey gorgeous,

Do you remember the first time you ever got hurt? Or maybe the most influential pain from your childhood, like a death in your family. Or a spanking. Or getting in trouble at school. Or your parents’ divorce.

These wounds leave a mark on our being and overall understanding of the world. Those moments make us feel separate, alone, or different. In those moments of pain, something formed in your psyche called your “core wound.” It’s a belief or message that you internalized at a young age, which influences who you are and how you behave in the world.

Without the proper awareness, this core wound could dictate the rest of your life.

While I’ve been “working” on myself for over a decade in the world of transformation, therapy, and personal growth, I discovered my core wound for the first time THREE WEEKS ago, and I want to share it with you in video form.

This video will tell you the story of how I realized my core wound, how I’m healing it, and why developing this kind of self awareness is essential for happiness and fulfillment.

Click the image below to watch. Beware, it’s 10 minutes long, so pull up a cup of tea and enjoy getting into my vulnerable and messy world.

My Core Wound

I have to ask…

What did you think?

Do you know your core wound?

Let me know in the comments on my Facebook page!

Thank you so much for watching.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. My private coaching and retreats help women bring more awareness and presence to their core wounds. While I don’t think our core wounds ever go away completely, when we bring enough love and awareness to them, they stop ruling our lives and we begin to make better choices and find more fulfillment and happiness. Want to see if my coaching and retreats are right for you? Email me at chrissy@chrissybradysmith.com with the subject of COACHING? and we’ll set up a call to see if I’m the right coach for you.

COR Woman Workshop

Hey gorgeous,

Last week I facilitated my favorite workshop ever, COR Woman. That’s me down below on the right, grounding our staff women in prayer before welcoming 12 women into their initiation day. A day I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.

That weekend I learned that nothing- no matter how traumatic, distorted, painful, or awful- can EVER touch the core of your being. Who you are is good, true, and beautiful. This is how we are born. But then we grow up, have the fall from Grace and get hurt and start believing certain illusions like, “I’m separate,” “I’m alone,” “I’m bad,” “They’re all against me,” “I’m not worthy,” or “I’m not lovable.”

When we get hurt we forget who we are. This weekend was a time to REMEMBER. This was a weekend of midwifing women back to life, remembering who they are, and forgetting who they’re not.

This might sound like a really intense email. But what I learned this weekend is that healing is actually really, really fun. Sure, sometimes it sucks and it can feel weird and hard and really uncomfortable…

But the other side is epic. Behind the scenes I caught myself in moments of so much joy, elation, and gratitude.

I remember saying to the staff women, “Is this really our life?” Yes, it is. And I’m so thankful to have said YES to this path and followed it through ‘til the end, because trust me when I say this, I wanted to quit many, many times.

Learning to facilitate in this way has been the toughest and most important training of my life. Learning how to lead my own circles, workshops and retreats feels like an extension of my heart and soul, and my life is fulfilled because of the skills I’ve learned along the way.

So my message for you today is to NOT give up. The struggle is very much a part of the process to becoming a fully expressed feminine leader.

It’s so worth it.

Love,

Chrissy

Date with God (A meditation practice)

Hey gorgeous,

Confession time. Over Valentine’s Day, I didn’t go on a romantic date with my  boyfriend, I went on a delicious date with… God.

Say what?! Yup. Ever since my silent retreat last month, I’ve been having a love affair with God. But what do I mean by God? I don’t consider God to be a big dogmatic man in the sky, I consider God to be an energy of Grace. A mysterious force that always has my back (and your back, too).

Before this silent retreat, I had a really hard time trusting God, especially sitting in silent meditation. Silence scared me. I was afraid of what I would find in my psyche without any distraction getting in the way. So I would sit for 5-11 minutes, and judge all of my meditations as bad. I could never get out of the “mud” of the obsessive thoughts and anxieties. Stillness was impossible.

It seemed as if my meditations only magnified my worries and insecurities.

This silent retreat couldn’t have come at a better time. For 8 days, I got to face those demons, and learn in my bones (without any eye contact or technology) how to sit in meditation without all the suffering! I want to share my learnings with you, so you too can go on some delicious dates with God.

This meditation practice is called Centering Prayer. This practice helps you discern thoughts and emotions as they arise before they reach the stage of attachment and compulsion (i.e. suffering).

For this practice, choose a sacred word that reminds you of the presence of God, Love, or Grace. A word that helps you trust the present moment and anything that shows up. You’ll use this word whenever you notice yourself engaging with a thought and going down its rabbit hole.

When you detach from the thoughts and emotions by returning to your sacred word, you strike at the root of your false system, your false self.

What’s the false self? An illusion, a load of habitual thinking and emotional patterns that are stored in the brain and nervous system like programs in a computer. They tend to reactivate every time a particular life circumstance pushes the appropriate button. The button might be feeling competitive or jealous. Or feeling controlling or insecure. It could be doubting yourself or doubting the world. It could be feelings of mistrust, overwhelm, anxiety… You get the picture. Any feeling or impulse that takes you out of presence.

Victim stuff, blame stuff, it’s all false! The truth of who you are is love and goodness. All else is false.

This Centering Prayer practice isn’t an elimination of thoughts, but a detachment from thoughts.

When I learned that distinction, I got so freed up. I was like, “Wait, my thoughts are okay? There’s nothing wrong with my thoughts?!” Right! Thoughts are an integral part of this meditation, you just notice them without attaching to them or reacting to them. When those difficult thoughts show up, that’s our subconscious coming up for purification and healing. These programs can’t transform and dismantle without our awareness of them. When they come to the light, that’s a good thing.

This practice is a discipline designed to reduce the obstacles to the full trust in God.Imagine that.

Here’s how it works:

Step one: Commit to sitting for 20 minutes and set your timer. Close your eyes and settle in for about 15 seconds, and then introduce your sacred word “ever so gently” into your mind. This word represents an internal movement of trust into God.

Step two: When you find yourself engaging in thoughts and going down the rabbit hole, return ever so gently to your sacred word.

You’ll eventually find yourself in moments of rest, and thoughts from the subconscious will come up. Every time these thoughts, attachments, or pain points show up, feel them, and let them go by returning to your sacred word with your whole being.

There’s no such thing as a good meditation or a bad meditation, you just allow, allow, allow.

When thoughts or feelings come up that you really don’t want to see, consider this a big hug from God inviting you to see your illusions so they can be transformed. This is a way of God bringing your shadows into the light so you they don’t have to own you anymore. You can give them up by returning to your sacred word.

My word, as you can probably guess, is Trust. When I suffer, it’s always because trust is missing. When I say the word, “trust” in my mind’s ear, that reminds my whole being to trust this moment, even the scary terrible feelings and demons that are showing up. I understand now that when those feelings and thoughts show up, it’s God chiseling at my false self, bringing these aspects of my psyche up into the light so I can let go, and transform. With this trust, I’m never alone.

Step 3: Keep going until your timer goes off. Then sit for about a minute, just resting in the space that you cultivated and gently open your eyes. Notice how the energy shifts.

20-30 minutes is essential for this. It takes about 11-15 minutes to get through the mud. I’ve discovered that meditating longer is actually easier than meditating for less time. There’s a shift that happens after getting through the superficial levels of meditation in minutes 1-11, and the thoughts begin to disappear. Then it’s just me, silence, and God. Not all the time of course, but with practice, this return to interior silence gets easier and easier.

Want to give this date with God a shot? Set your timer for 20 minutes, and just let go into this Divine Therapy. See what shows up, and just remember, there’s no such thing as a bad meditation. Just allow, and let this process take you deeper and deeper into your true self. Can’t wait to hear what opens up for you.

Love,

Chrissy

 

My Trial by Fire on a Plane

Ever since saying YES to this path of leadership and healing the world, I’ve been tested year after year to show up as a leader in the face of crisis. In these times I learned to trust myself. To trust my passion, intuition, and heart. Last month I was tested again, and this felt like the final Rite of Passage into my leadership as a woman. Where was it? On a crowded airplane that just landed, with hundreds of impatient people trying to get off the plane during the holidays.

Here’s the story.

We land in San Francisco, and everyone begins to stand up so we can exit the plane, and I hear screams in the aisle, “My husband is fainting.. Shaking.. Help!” I look up from my window seat and notice the scene. I see a mixture of chaos, fear, and hysteria surrounding a man who was falling to the ground, unconscious and shaking. I immediately shout out, “We need a doctor! Is there a Doctor on the plane?”

The man is caught before hitting the ground, and flight attendants make their way to the scene asking, “Sir, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He comes back into a bit of consciousness but isn’t there. The flight attendants continue questioning him, but something is very off. The man keeps slurring his words, and his eyes go to the back of his head.

It takes me about 10 seconds to realize that no one is helping amidst the chaos and it doesn’t seem like any doctor is on board. Everyone is either frozen in fear or hysterical.

That’s when I feel the tug from Grace telling me that it’s time to step up. Before I know it, I’m jumping over my seated neighbors sharing that I have some emergency training, and then grab the man’s hands and have him look into my eyes.

I’m calm, present, alert, and firm. His eyes are like “deer in headlights.”

I say, “Sir, you just fainted, look into my eyes and take a breath with me, good,” we breathe, eyes locked (and I sense the whole plane take a breath too). “Do you feel my hands on your hands, sir?” Nods his head. “I’m going to squeeze your hands tighter now, okay? Let me know when it’s too much.” He nods again. Then with a calm smile on my face I say on the next breath, “Good. Now look into my eyes, Sir, stay with me. What color are my eyes?” He focuses in, and says.. “Blue.. green?” “Good.” Then pointing to his shirt I say, “Tell me, what color is your shirt?” This takes him a while… but finally says, “blue.”

I keep doing this sensory work with him (with the whole plane’s eyes on me) to keep him present and connected to his body. We occasionally need to do this somatic work in our workshops when a participant remembers a particularly scary trauma from the past and goes into what we call the “trauma vortex.” The memory is so strong in the body and mind that they lose their presence completely, unable to control their sensations, feelings, thoughts, and speech. When this vortex gets stuck, it needs awareness and resources to reengage the nervous system back to presence.

I keep doing this “resourcing” work with him, bringing him back into his body over and over again. I have him sense temperatures and even textures against his skin. I repeat this process until EMTs enter the scene to help this man and wife off the plane, and the (angry and loud) passengers are finally allowed to leave the plane too.

I gather my things, take a huge resourcing breath, and head off the plane- but am stopped by every flight attendant and even the pilot himself with a hugs of gratitude for taking charge and helping this man (and the entire plane) remain calm. They had never seen anything like it before. After watching me work with this man, they’re now going to ask their supervisors for more emergency training for their entire airline.

They realized when they saw me bring this man back to presence inside of his senses in really simple ways, that he could calm down and communicate effectively. The EMTs later told me that the work I did to keep his brain “online” and his heart rate calm was incredibly beneficial.

I’m sharing this story with you today as inspiration for your own New Beginning this year. The New Beginning I received was total trust in myself on as a leader, even on a crowded airplane with hundreds of people yelling at me to get out of the way. This was a “trial by fire” experience, one that tested me to the limits but showed me that I’m ready to be certified as a COR Woman Facilitator, a rite of passage workshop I’ve been in training to facilitate for other 4 years (formerly known as Celebration of Woman).

What is it that you are being called to trust in this new year, [FIRST NAME GOES HERE]? Where is your “trial by fire?” It’s probably not as dramatic as mine on that plane, but every moment, if you really listen, we’re always asked to step into something bigger that requires trusting our deepest selves.

If you feel a nudge in your heart to step up as a leader in your own life, to claim your worth, confidence, and power as a woman once and for all, I have a new Women’s Empowerment Coaching program designed with you in mind.

I’ll reveal it in a couple of weeks, stay tuned!

Until then, thank you so much for reading my story. I hope to connect with you soon!

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Did you see my Facebook Live this week? I called myself out for unhealthy patterns, and shared vulnerably about an addiction I’ll be facing head on while in 8 days of silent meditation next week. Check it out!

How to be an Amazing Wing Woman

Hey gorgeous,

How do you respond when your friend gets hit on more than you? Whether you’re in a relationship or single, this can be a triggering subject for many women.

That’s why this newsletter describes what it takes to be an AMAZING Wing Woman (who gets more attractive by the minute).

I was at a conference last week with 200 women entrepreneurs, and my mastermind partner is one of the sexiest, most beautiful and magnetic women on the planet. You’ve probably heard me talk about her before, her name is Lauren.

Everywhere we go, she gets hit on. Like… a lot. Men flock to her. They are literally begging to make her happy. Now, I’m an attractive woman and a whole lot of fun (if I do say so myself) and I’ve received my fair share of attention from men over the years. But when I’m with Lauren it’s over. I don’t stand a chance. Granted, I’m in a relationship and not looking to be dating right now, but I still love to flirt ;).
This past week whenever we went out to a meal, the beach, or even coffee, men would seek Lauren out and put their full attention on her and not pay any attention to me.

(Notice how I’m not writing the word “Ouch.”)

As a friend of many, many magnetic women, and someone who’s been around the block in the world of dating, I’ve discovered there to be four reactions to this scenario. Meaning, the response to a friend getting blatantly hit on in front of you.

1. There’s the awkward friend. She goes silent, gets on her phone, doesn’t interact in any way and watches the flirtation from her corner, feeling frozen and stuck. She feels insecure and shrinks, making up a story about how unlovable/unattractive she is this, and this interaction proves it.

2. The aggressive friend. She puts the guy down for hitting on her friend, and might even say, “Dude, you need to go away, we’re not interested.” This is what I call “going in for the kill.” She makes fun of his efforts, and emasculates him. She also makes her friend wrong for receiving all of the attention, and tanks the whole interaction with her aggressive energy. This scenario isn’t fun.

3. The Wing Woman gone wrong. This is the friend who claims to be a wing woman, but isn’t at all, and tries to steal the man’s attention in order to “one up” her friend. This one feels pretty yucky, and no one stands a chance to have fun.

These three scenarios don’t feel good for anyone! They bring the energy down.

Want to know how I do it?

4. I elevate. This is the kind of friend I am. I elevate the scenario, the flirtation, and the energy. I’ve been in a serious relationship for years, but when my friends get hit on, I get in there too, with encouragement, some silliness, and celebration of what’s going on in the moment.

This past week I was a total YES to these men hitting on Lauren. I approved of their desires with my energy, words and playfulness. I made sure to keep the interactions fun, and focused my attention on Lauren to feel into what she desired in the moment. I made Lauren and her suitors look GOOD, I never brought them down. If her energy kept reaching for the flirtation, I supported that!

I kept the conversations going and included myself to bring the interactions up to higher peaks of joy. That’s called elevation.

I don’t feel jealous, instead I feel excited. The secret here is including myself in the scenario.

Here’s a tip about jealousy. Another way to describe jealousy is to feel excluded, so the antidote to feeling jealous is to include yourself in the situation, rather than excluding yourself. You can use this “jealousy tip” in your relationship, with your friends, and in your business. Just keep including yourself and see where this leads you. (This subject deserves a whole Newsletter, stay tuned!)

You see, the feminine is a capital YES! She’s a YES to everything that’s happening in the moment and allows the energies around her to flow. When Lauren gets hit on (she should have a Reality TV show, you can’t make this stuff up) I celebrate her AND the brave men who beam her with attention. Together, we all have an amazing time.

But the best part?

Women get more attractive every time we choose FUN over FEAR. Believe it or not, my boyfriend of 3 years thanks me for my flirtation, and the ways in which I elevate these scenarios because I bring all of that juicy energy home to our relationship when I return.

It’s a win win.
Use your feminine power to elevate, sister, and your life will absolutely amaze you.
Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Claim your 2016 Completion Intensive with me! These are 2 Hour Skype Intensives will help you complete the year with celebration, healing, and faith. We’ll complete patterns that no longer serve you, release beliefs that bring your down, and create new empowered visions that bring your life to new heights of creativity, purpose, and radiance. 2 hours of healing for $550. We can jam on your business, your dating life/ relationship, your message, trauma from the past, your worth, your body- YOU NAME IT. I’ve seen it all. Claim your spot by signing up for a discovery session with me: http://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/

I won’t be offering this type of coaching at this price point again in 2017, so reach out now if you want to claim this. Space is limited.

“WTF Am I Doing With My Life” Podcast Interview

Hey beautiful,

Have you ever asked yourself that question? I know I have, multiple times.

That’s why I was thrilled to be interviewed for the podcast, WTF Am I Doing with My Life? I felt so at home in this interview because this question was the catalyst for every major transformation in my life. It’s also the very question that brings most of my clients into my coaching practice.

The host, Kristy wanted me to share about my healing as a woman, and the continued healing I’ve provided for hundreds of women throughout the world. She already knew bits of my story because she attended one of my retreats last year, but she wanted to know more. She was willing to hear it all, from the big and painful points of my life, to the sweet and silly moments that have freed up me to believe in love again.

I’m so honored to share this interview with you. You’ll learn how I turned my pain into my purpose, the fierce power of anger when you deal with it responsibly, and how to turn a bummer into a breakthrough.

You’ll also learn how to manage your own “WTF” moment when you’re feeling stuck, because most likely you’re on the verge of a major uplevel in life that you won’t want to miss out on!

Click here to listen!

Hope you enjoy it.. Let me know what you think by responding to this email.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. Are you dealing with your own “WTF Am I Doing With My Life” moment? Hop on the phone with me and we’ll get you back on track to loving your life and feeling fulfilled and on purpose again. There’s no need to stay stuck forever. Let’s close 2016 with that fire in your belly again. Click here to schedule your call with me to see if I’m the right coach for you.

The Cost of Being a Good Girl

Hey lovely,

On Monday I sent you a newsletter sharing all about a woman’s power and the hoops it has to go through in order to stay burning bright. I promised you a story of my own power going out when I was a little girl, so here it is.

I have one wound from my childhood that still shows up in my life today. I was three years old playing make believe in the dining room. I accidentally broke a glass candle holder while having a tea party with my imaginary friends. The glass broke all over the floor, and with tears in my eyes and the fear of getting in trouble bubbling in my snot, I brought the broken pieces to my babysitter to apologize. Without going in too much detail, I’ll tell you that her response deeply scared and traumatized me. I was eventually sent to my room for being such a bad girl.

I decided in that moment I could never, ever make a mistake again. My life depended on it. I had to be a “good girl” from that moment on.

This belief played out for a couple of decades and I avoided making mistakes at all costs. I would never be a bad girl again. I didn’t take risks in school and lived in fear most of the time when it came to my education. Instead I got really good at sports because I couldn’t get in trouble on the field.

As you can see, my true power started to fade as soon as I decided to be a good girl. I thought that in order to be powerful and good enough, that I had to be perfect, but get this.

Trying to be perfect is a defense mechanism. It’s a strategy to avoid pain.

Deciding to be a good girl was a way of protecting myself from feeling the pain that I didn’t know how to deal with when I was three years old. My nervous system and psyche were still developing, and they simply didn’t know how to handle the pain of a grown up hurting me and scaring me. Instead, I froze, and made the decision to never get close to that scenario again. I would stay far away from pain, and far away from mistakes.

I chose to be a good girl out of fear, not empowerment. This “good girl” persona was a very limited version of Chrissy. The good girl wasn’t an expression of Chrissy’s true power. I slowly but surely forgot who I really was before the fear took over.

As we all know, it’s impossible to go through life without making mistakes. I’ve had a long road with this one. Making mistakes today is still tough for me, and I still beat myself up at times with my words and energy, the same way my babysitter did with her actions.

When did I get my true power back? When I reconnected with my three year old self who was hurting and calling out for attention. She needed love, patience, and someone to hold her. Through years of coaching, trauma work, and the many intensive workshops I’ve attended, I’m happy to say that my three year old has been tended to, loved, and affirmed. I had to let her cry, kick, and scream it out. I had to give that little girl permission to defend herself and take her power back when she didn’t have the voice or courage to do so in the moment.

When I emotionally and somatically released that trauma from the past, a new confidence formed inside of myself. A new curiosity that was willing to make mistakes and learn from them. My life became brighter, more interesting, and vulnerable. I started living again and my power was remembered.

I finally woke up. I felt empowered again.

Here’s the truth about power. It never, ever goes out completely. There’s always a spark waiting for your attention. But how do we stoke that fire to a roaring flame again after so many years of hurt? We have to feel the pain with presence, love, and compassion.

If you want a formula for remembering your power, I have one. You must first build an internal sanctuary of awareness. The quiet place you return to with the breath, meditation, and embodiment. Another word for this? Presence. The ability to witness your current state physically, emotionally, and mentally without any judgment. This sanctuary can hold your pain, and from this space of presence, you can feel your pain and let those primary emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear move. This could look like quietly crying, or speaking the words your little one couldn’t say in the moment, defending against the person who hurt you. It could look like a conscious temper tantrum. The invitation is to see where this presence takes you.

Your true power is on the other side of this expressed movement. It’s on the other side of feeling your pain.

The difference between Chrissy now and Chrissy 10 years ago is that Chrissy today has a powerful sense of awareness and compassion for that little girl who simply had an accident. I’ve been able to go back in time and give that three year old girl what she needed to feel safe and secure. When she’s scared and worried that she’ll get hurt and in trouble after making a mistake, I breathe her in, and let her know that she’s safe, and that I’m driving the car now. She can relax and let go.

Thank you dear ones, for hearing my story, and holding it with so much love.

Love,

Chrissy

P.S. If this newsletter struck a chord with you and you long to do some deeper work to remember your true power, hop on the phone with me. Women leaders must dig deep in order to express their gifts in the world. Schedule your discovery call with me find out how to transform your own pain into your purpose. On the call I’ll give you a taste of what coaching with me feels like.

http://chrissybradysmith.com/discovery-session/