Holiday Blues #2

A tangled ball of Christmas lights

Hey gorgeous,

Here’s a message I wrote a year ago which had a ton of response for my community. If the holidays are hard for you, read on. You’re not alone.

For much of the world, this holiday season is a time of family, celebration, and abundance. You may love this time of year and cherish every blessing this season brings, and if that’s the case, I’m so happy for you!! I’m in a different category. The holidays have this remarkable way of bringing up what I need to see.  I mostly feel overwhelm, sadness, and exhaustion during this time of year.

Every December, year after year,  I notice myself asking “Why?”

Why am I different?
Why is this time of year so hard?

When I tune into my Internal Sanctuary of Awareness: a term I’ve coined as the temple of my truth, my gut and soul; I notice how useless those questions are. Those questions are forms of resistance created by the ego, the structure designed to keep me out of the present moment. When I drop into “what’s so” in real time with total acceptance, my truth is: The holidays are hard for me. That’s it. No story. No drama. “Why” doesn’t matter when I have the truth.

If you’re anything like me and find yourself experiencing anxiety, overwhelm, or sadness during the holidays, I have some useful tips for you.

Tip #1
Your suffering ends when you accept where you’re at and let yourself off the hook.

When those thoughts of “why” take you down the rabbit hole of shame by making yourself wrong, you’ve been hijacked by your ego. Questioning where you’re at is a form of resistance, and resistance is the nemesis to self-love and presence. What you resist persists. Compassionately accept where you’re at and find love ASAP. Love yourself madly and give yourself a break! Have a good cry and give yourself permission to be where you are.

Tip #2
Find connection.
Suffering happens in isolation. The human spirit is meant for connection! Even though I was surrounded by friends and family this holiday season, I kept my overwhelming thoughts to myself which isolated me into thinking I was alone in my experience. When I opened up to my mom and boyfriend about the anxiety I was feeling, I felt heard, seen and received. I wasn’t alone anymore.  I was open to connection and I felt so much relief after sharing what was happening for me.

Tip #3
Get crystal clear on what you need and communicate it lovingly and clearly.

I needed alone time! I changed around my holiday plans to get some solo time in before the end of 2014. While I’m outgoing by nature, I’m an introvert at heart. My body, emotions, and mind told me something was off during Christmas, so I listened to my nervous system and chose relaxation and reflection on my own terms instead of going up to my family’s cabin. I’ll be honest, my communication could have been more loving and clear…  Luckily, my wise and loving mother held the space for me to communicate this need with zero guilt. (Love you, Mom!) True power is communicating what you want and what you don’t want lovingly and clearly with zero attachment to the outcome. This communication technique is a skill that I work on every single day, and trust me, I’m a work in progress.

Tip #4
Take action through self-love.

I knew I needed alone time, but more than anything, I needed massive self-love. I decided to commit two days to nourishing my heart, body, and mind with one simple goal of pleasure! I did yoga, meditated A LOT, cooked decadent meals, read on the beach, and then when I was more open to affection and connection with others, I cuddled with my man.

Tip #5
Find inspiration

Yesterday I read Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild on the beach in SF. This woman speaks her truth with vulnerability and has been a real teacher for me at this point in my life. After death, divorce, drugs, and major self-deprecation, Cheryl commits to finding herself again on the Pacific Crest Trail with zero experience and a heavy backpack of dreams. She makes every mistake in the book on her 3 month hiking journey, but doesn’t give up ONCE on her mission. If this woman could persevere after such loss, I could get through this holiday season. This backpacking trip was Cheryl’s radical expression of self-love and her words inspire me to be the best version of myself.

Where in life are you abandoning your needs and self-care? 
How are you willing to love yourself?

Remember the treasure you are on the planet now. You have a special gift that the world needs. When you’re overworked, stressed or overwhelmed by guilt to please others, your gifts are blocked from their full-expression! Give yourself the gift of self-love and see what opens up for you.

My next Retreat is the perfect space to develop self-love. It’s a chance to marry yourself, as you are, til death does you part.
Celebration of Woman, January 28th-January 31st in San Luis Obispo.
Early discount to save $200 ends December 17th! 

Lots of love, Chrissy

P.S. In need of some life coaching? An injection of self-love, awareness and power? Even though I’m a business coach, I’ll never stop being a life coach for women who want to live fearlessly and passionately. Schedule a discovery session to see if we’re the right fit to support you in making 2016 the best year of your life.

Empowered Woman’s Checklist To Get Out of the Funk

Have you ever had one of those… crappy days? Weeks? Where you can’t get out of the fog? Trust me, I’ve been there.

Earlier this week I stumbled upon an AWESOME checklist of what to do when you want to give up, and it inspired me to create a checklist for my community of empowered women!

Remember my blogpost, “How to Thrive When Things Suck?” 

I’ve added to the list..

When you think you’ve hit rock bottom, ask yourself these questions. Rock top awaits 🙂

1. Have you let yourself cry it out in the past 24 hours? Like snot and tears flying everywhere for at least 2 minutes? Let your emotions move girl, they’re not meant to stay inside!

2. Have you meditated for at least 15 minutes today? If you can’t be with your feelings and truly watch them, your emotions are going to get the best of you and you’ll slip into some depression, anxiety, and even more worry than you started. Trying to change your feelings is like trying to put a fire out with a blow torch. Be with your feelings in stillness, from the witness perspective for 15 minutes and notice what opens up.

3. Have you gone outside today? Get into nature! Let the wind, sun, or rain touch your face. Dig your feet and hands into the dirt. When we’re spinning in anxiety and overwhelm, that means you aren’t grounded and connected to your body and the earth. Connect.. hug a tree. I’m serious.

4. Have you gotten a massage in the past week? When we’re out of whack emotionally it means our nervous system is confused, trying to process whether to fight or fly from the current stressful/scary scenario. In these moments of stress, we have to resource our bodies. Nothing is more healing than a massage in my opinion, so commit to some self-care and I dare you not to feel better. Massage isn’t your thing? Take a bath.. a hot shower.. rub your own skin with some coconut oil and return to your precious body. Your body carries so much wisdom! Your body holds the answers when our nervous mind can’t distinguish the truth from reality.

5. Have you helped anyone in the past week? Contribution really does end our suffering, it takes us out of our own negative self-talk and stories, and we remember that we’re simply here to love, and be loved. Loving, appreciating, or helping someone is such a beautiful way to return to your soul.

6. Notice if you’re going through an emotional, spiritual, or personal growth spurt. When we expand and grow, that means we’re making tremendous progress, but sometimes it hurts! Expansion requires contraction. It’s like giving birth. When you stop growing, you stop living.  Look at one of those stinky rivers in india, it’s stinky because it stopped moving and growing. The invitation is to be with your process even when it hurts like hell, and be thankful for your progress.

7. What are you wearing? If you’re still wearing your pajamas, take a shower and change your clothes. Put on something sexy and beautiful. Put on some lipstick and welcome your beautiful femininity back into your life.

8. Who do you need to forgive? Holding grudges is the sure-fire way to be unhappy. Write down all of your grudges on a piece of paper. Every. Single. One. Every resentment, all the unforgiveness that is still in your heart. Now I have an exercise for you. Pick up the piece of paper with all of your grudges, hold it with all of your might- squeeze it tight, and then— let it go. Watch your resentments fly to the ground. Notice how easy it is to let go. What would open up for you if you energetically and emotionally let go too? (There’s more to this process.. but this is a great start!)

9. Have you danced like a crazy person today? Oh yes, I said it. Put on some music and let your body move. This will bring blood flow to your brain and release tons of endorphins.

10. Be silly! On Monday I led a workshop in a banana costume…. I wasn’t in the greatest mood before this workshop, but committing to silliness always trumps the sadness and sometimes you have to fake it ’til you make it. My silliness created a ripple effect of joy, and everyone couldn’t help but smile and laugh and join in on the insanity 🙂

Don’t believe me? Yup.. that’s me leading a guided meditation as a banana.

11. What have you had to eat or drink today? You could very well be dehydrated, hungry, or in a funk due to too much sugar which always takes us out of presence. Drink a ton of water, eat some greens, and do this slowly and consciously, tasting your food with presence.

12.  Have you seen your coach or therapist in the past week? Since the first time I did a personal growth seminar, I’ve worked with a coach or therapist weekly. It’s not a weakness, it’s my secret weapon. Being seen, heard, and supported are three of the most important structures for actualizing your empowerment! When you’re held accountable in taking full responsibility for your life and happiness, you can heal and in the process you become a magnet for what you truly want.

If anything in this newsletter struck a chord with you and you want to see if empowerment coaching is right for you,  sign up for a discovery call with me so you can map out the changes that must happen in order for you to live with peace, fulfillment, and tons of JOY even in the face of heartache or stress. I really look forward to hearing from you!

All my love and light,

P.S. Comment below to let me know your own ideas for getting out of the funk!