I have a story to share with you.
This past weekend I missed out on a precious reunion that happens every five years. Why did I miss it? I wasn’t a total Yes to going. I would have gone out of FOMO, the fear of missing out. Hundreds of former co-workers young and old gathered this past weekend to celebrate, connect, and party. Some of my best friends from college were there- the men and women who have seen me at my best and absolute worst. We grew up together while staffing at this glorious college alumni camp in the mountains, and this weekend would have been the perfect opportunity to reconnect and bond in camaraderie. But I didn’t go. Why? It’s simple and maybe you can relate. My ex was going to be there, and because I am still healing from our breakup and moving on inside a new, amazing relationship, I let my No be No. While the voice in my head told me to go to this reunion, my body and emotions told me I wasn’t ready. I felt the No in my bones and didn’t make myself wrong for it.
In the past, I would have listened to the Yes of my friends over the No of myself. That cycle of self-betrayal is one of the root causes of women’s pain, and deeply influenced the lack of trust I had for my choices in the past. Saying No this weekend was two-fold: First it was an act of ending my self-betrayal, because my stand is for women to own their Yes and honor their No. Secondly, it allowed me to set up a healthy boundary for myself unapologetically. I honored my No responsibly. I was honest with my feelings and gave myself permission to feel the FOMO instead of avoid it. What did I learn from this experience?
Fomo isn’t so bad! In fact, FOMO > SELF BETRAYAL (big time). I had a healing Reiki session Friday morning where I was invited to feel my FOMO in its entirety. (Tip #1 in my Fear to Fire e-Book: Welcome your Fear.) I felt myself reaching for the party, for the friends, for the laughter…and the sensation of missing out reminded me of the pain a child has when she doesn’t get what she wants. I realized that I was trying to have it all, but was stretched too thin in the process. When I leaned back into my experience here in the now, without the reaching and grasping- I felt peace and grounded love for being in one place. I was here, inside a safe boundary I had a created for myself to heal and grow by letting go. HERE is always better than THERE. That realization was the end of suffering for me. “Here” is all we’ve got, and I got to taste it and bask in its glory. I could have ignored this FOMO by distracting myself (ahem, suppressing), but instead, I said Yes to the FOMO- and the truth underneath was more beautiful and alive than I could have ever imagined. Listening to my No allowed a new Yes to appear- a Yes to my own empowered choices. A Yes to trusting myself and being here, fully present and awake.
If you are ready to end your own cycle of self-betrayal and create a new possibility for self-love, let’s set up a free 45 minute discovery session. On this call you too can explore your internal battle between Yes and No, and I will share how my services will support you in owning what you want in life and honoring what you don’t. Email me firstname.lastname@example.org for more details with the subject reading: Discovery Session.
I look forward to hearing from you!
To your Yes being Yes and your No being No,