For much of the world, the holiday season is a time of family, celebration, and abundance. You may love this time of year and cherish every blessing this season brings, and if that’s the case, I’m so happy for you!! I am in a different category. The holidays have this remarkable way of bringing up what I need to see. I mostly feel overwhelm, sadness, and exhaustion during this time of year.
Every December, year after year, I notice myself asking “Why?”
Why am I different? Why is this time of year so hard?
When I tune into my Internal Sanctuary of Awareness: a term I’ve coined as the temple of my truth, my gut and soul; I notice how useless those questions are. Those questions are forms of resistance created by the ego, the structure designed to keep me out of the present moment. When I drop into “what’s so” in real time with total acceptance, my truth is: The holidays are hard for me. That’s it. No story. No drama. “Why” doesn’t matter when I have the truth.
If you are anything like me and find yourself experiencing anxiety, overwhelm, or sadness during the holidays, I have some useful tips for you.
Your suffering ends when you accept where you’re at and let yourself off the hook.
When those thoughts of “why” take you down the rabbit hole of shame by making yourself wrong, you have been hijacked by your ego. Questioning where you’re at is a form of resistance, and resistance is the nemesis to self-love and presence. What you resist persists. Compassionately accept where you’re at and find love ASAP. Love yourself madly and give yourself a break! Have a good cry and give yourself permission to be where you are.
Suffering happens in isolation. The human spirit is meant for connection! Even though I was surrounded by friends and family this holiday season, I kept my overwhelming thoughts to myself which isolated me into thinking I was alone in my experience. When I opened up to my mom and boyfriend about the anxiety I was feeling, I felt heard, seen and received. I wasn’t alone anymore. I was open to connection and I felt so much relief after sharing my truth.
Get crystal clear on what you need and communicate it lovingly and clearly.
I needed alone time! I changed around my holiday plans to get some solo time in before the end of 2014. While I’m outgoing by nature, I’m an introvert at heart. My body, emotions, and mind told me something was off during Christmas, so I listened to my nervous system and chose relaxation and reflection on my own terms instead of going up to my family’s cabin. I’ll be honest, my communication could have been more loving and clear… Luckily, my wise and loving mother held the space for me to communicate this need with zero guilt. (Love you, Mom!) True power is communicating what you want and what you don’t want lovingly and clearly with zero attachment to the outcome. This communication technique is a skill that I work on every single day, and trust me, I’m a work in progress.
Take action through self-love.
I knew I needed alone time, but more than anything, I needed massive self-love. I decided to commit two days to nourishing my heart, body, and mind with one simple goal of pleasure! I did yoga, meditated A LOT, cooked decadent meals, read on the beach, and then when I was more open to affection and connection with others, I cuddled with my man.
Yesterday I read Cheryl Strayed’s book, Wild on the beach in SF. This woman speaks her truth with vulnerability and has been a real teacher for me at this point in my life. After death, divorce, drugs, and major self-deprecation, Cheryl commits to finding herself again on the Pacific Crest Trail with zero experience and a heavy backpack of dreams. She makes every mistake in the book on her 3 month hiking journey, but doesn’t give up ONCE on her mission. If this woman could persevere after such loss, I could get through this holiday season. This backpacking trip was Cheryl’s radical expression of self-love and her words inspire me to be the best version of myself.
Where in life are you abandoning your needs and self-care?
How are you willing to love yourself?
Remember the treasure you are on the planet now. You have a special gift that the world needs. When you’re overworked, stressed or overwhelmed by guilt to please others, your gifts are blocked from their full-expression! Give yourself the gift of self-love and see what opens up for you.
My next Retreat is the perfect space to develop self-love for LIFE:
Celebration of Woman, February 26-March 1st in San Luis Obispo.
Early discount to save $200 ends January 15th!
Let’s have a free call to see if this retreat is right for you.